The New Adventures of Old Kristen

The countdown has begun and I could not be more thrilled to move back to the Alma mater of my childhood--that's right Fairhope! Woo hoo! So last Saturday I ventured out to explore the old homestead and found myself once again on the Fairhope Pier--affectionately known to Fairhopians as "The Big Pier." I have a lot of memories attached to that pier, from walking it's length hand in hand with my parents armed with my favorite ice cream (blueberry cheesecake) to getting caught in a squall on a Sea Doo when I was sixteen. The rope from the tube we were pulling got sucked into the jet and yep we had no knife to cut it out--so we drifted aimlessly towards the Big Pier amidst 10 foot waves and ominous black skies ( most of us--Lauren swam 100 yards to shore to get help although she didn't fair to well in that endeavor) clinging only to the hope of once again touching dry land. When we reached the pier two big men reached down from above as if they were maritime angels sent from heaven and pulled us up to safety. Needless to say I have never gone out boating without a knife or a cell phone.

But my most recent visit to the beloved pier proved to be a most interesting experience indeed. I saw three things that are blog-worthy: The first was a bride and groom accompanied by their party trying to acquire beautiful pictures to one day show their children. It was an overcast day so hopefully the photographer is good with lighting...Secondly, I saw a posse of sad, downcast and devastated people who took up the entire width of the pier. The leader of the pack was a women in her seventies riding a Rascal---she drove with one hand and with the other wiped away her tear-filled eyes. I thought, "What in the world is going on?" Then I saw it. I was in shock and again I thought to myself, "Noooo...that can't be...seriously???" Well it was exactly what I thought it was: a bag carrying an urn. The family was heading to the end of the pier to spread their beloved's ashes into Mobile Bay. The third scene I have to say was most disturbing. I looked up from the 10 foot long pier adjacent and attached to the Big Pier and saw a couple, hand in hand, giddy and in love. But something caught my attention...something was amiss within this moment. Then it hit me. The male counterpart of the couple was not male at all. No. In fact he was indeed a she. Whoa!!! Holy crap! A transvestite--a She-male. So not cool. After surviving a scene of life and love and one of death this particular event sent me into a tailspin. I was finished enjoying The Fairhope Pier and in the words of American Idol second place finisher Kathryn McPhee I was "So Over It."

Hopefully my next visit will produce stories of Mullets jumping, Pelicans flying and maybe just maybe a Jubilee...