The Agitation of the Appliance Life As I Know It

Hello friends! As most of you know, I work at Best Buy. What comes to mind when one ponders that of "Best Buy?" Computers, cameras, TVs, Blue Ray Disc Players, Wii, XBOX, PS2, iPod, Macbook and of course THE GEEK SQUAD. Yes, those things comprise the bulk of all that is Best Buy, but there's more. What else can you get at Best Buy? Well you can get books and all things made by THE SHARPER IMAGE--but there in the corner of every Best Buy is a super-store unlike any other. One full of shiny, stainless steel...tango red, platinum, blue steel (I kid you not--just like Zoolander)and midnight black and blue...a playground for up-and-coming Generations looking to step into all that buying a home brings, i.e. Appliances. Yes. This is the Shangri La of Best Buy. It's a pretty peaceful piece of real estate. For those who don't appreciate the symphony of hummmmms coming from the refrigerators & freezers, it is a place of quiet desperation...a place where salesmen and women go to die a slow death--plagued with the responsibility to know all things about washers and dryers; top loaders & front loaders--ENERGY STAR qualified products & those that are not. I am on the side of both opinions: it is both peaceful and mind-numbingly boring. I keep the time by making a lot of "TO DO" lists, most of which I never really get around to doing.
On the night of Sunday, May 16th, the Appliance Life as I knew it was forever changed. Things became interesting and I was forever changed...
A young couple came in looking for a washer and dryer. They seemed "normal" enough, possessing the innate distrust of all sales people and genuine inability to separate me as a person from "the MAN" known as "Best Buy." After 2 and a half hours of negotiations, we finally came to an agreement. I'm not fond of the "sales dance" at all--the customer is shown the product, the customer wants to talk the seller down, the seller(me) approaches the "highers ups" with the proposition; the seller returns to the potential buyer with the terms of the possible agreement--the buyers want more than what is being offered--the higher ups are unmoved by their request--and the seller is left to salvage what is left of a not so fun sale and so on and so on. Most of the time I feel like I'm in some sort of mix between a made for comedy mafioso genre TV show, Let's Make a Deal and Candid Camera. I check my peripherals on the regular, just waiting for a covert TV host (who may or may not sound and look like Tony Soprano) to pop out of a refrigerator and say, "$1500 for a washer & dryer for my family? Forget about it! You've insulted the family...Gotcha..." I'm totally serious. Back to my story...
I finally make the worst sale ever--there was no money to be made in this sale--at all. But you know me, I don't get caught up in things I cannot change. They were happy, so I was happy. I ring up the sale at the register...the receipt sputters out of the shoot...I hand them the receipt and say, "You guys said you have a truck right? Go ahead and pull it up to the front and I'll be up there momentarily with some guys to help load it." They look at me. They look at each other. They look at me and laugh. "Uhhh, ma'am...we've got a truck. The question is do you have a forklift?" I thought, "Oh my dear sweet Jesus! What is that supposed to mean?" It was now 20 minutes past the time I was supposed to be off. Best Buy is a ghost town. I'm looking for anyone to help me wrap the washer and dryer. I find a fellow and he helps me. It took us 15 minutes to complete this endeavor because these were floor models and they were shoved behind a steel plate that kept us from being able to remove them. We had to move 2 washer and dryer sets, just to get to the ones that I had sold. We made it. Now all we have to do is move them to the front of the store, load them and then we can go home. We make our may to the front. I'm relieved...I have a little spring in my step while pushing the dolly because I'm hungry and I can't wait to go get something to eat. I see the front doors...the finish line...I'm elated. Then it happened. I look outside and it's pouring down rain. That in and of itself would have easily thwarted the hopes of most people, but I was unmoved--I like the rain. But then I turn my attention to the noise I'm hearing--not that of thunder but an old familiar sound I hear when I'm driving down the interstate. That symphony of hydraulic brakes and clanging diesel engines...it was the sound of a SEMI. I think to myself, "Oh no you didn't. Tell me you didn't just sell this to the people sitting in the foreboding, massive, black, steel encased nightmare of a truck? Oh yes you did! Ahhhh man...this is hilarious...oh crap...how are we going to get this in there?" We watched in shock as the driver of this "big-rig" pushed a button and made the truck bed ascend to a very impressive 90 degree vertical. I had never seen this before. This indeed was a first in my history and in the history of Best Buy. Well between myself and two other guys, one of which is smaller than me, we did it. We were soaking wet, the guys were covered in the cement and mud from the truck--but we made it. I hope you've enjoyed this very small glimpse into my fun life as I know it ;)

The Modest Life As I Know It

Hello friends! I know that it has been entirely too long--my bad...But I wanted to share a story with y'all that I know will have you instantly forgive me for neglecting my blog.

So I live in California now, and they have the reputation for being more liberal than most in my beloved sleepy south. I was raised to say, "Yes ma'am, no ma'am" "Yes sir, no sir" "Please" and "Thank you." My mother told me to never say anything bad about anyone--to always "bless their hearts," eat whatever is placed in front of me with gratitude, don't talk with my mouth full, stick my tongue out at people, say curse words (cuss words),smack, spit;talk back to an adult, always cross my legs and never ever hit anyone--ever. I was also raised to keep some things to myself--those things deemed "private." For example, going to the bathroom. We don't announce it--we're discrete--it's ladylike and polite. We don't do that. We also don't walk around in our underwear--that's private and it's not proper for a southern girl to be an exhibitionist. It has everything in the world to do with boundaries--respecting one's privacy. I mean, I don't want to see anybody's naked-ness. I don't want to see what your momma may or may not have given to ya and I don't want you seeing what my momma did not give me. I'm cool--keep it to yourself. I mean, I've seen my twin sister naked one time--and that was out of necessity--that is another story in and of itself. I will say that we may be twins, but we are fraternal. I digress. My roommates think that my modesty is funny. Apparently, I'm a rare occurrence--they've never really encountered someone who doesn't use the bathroom with the door open or parades around half naked--or totally. Well, here I am! So they've given me a hard time--all in jest mind you. I have some good stories, most of which I'll be glad to tell you in private. It wouldn't be polite to blog about it. On to my story.

With the previous information in mind, enjoy---this would happen to me. Oh and by the way, IT DID.

I spent one afternoon tanning outside. This day was glorious! Spring had officially "sprung" and I was especially looking forward to enjoying the warm weather as opposed to the Arctic chill I've endured for the past 6 months. I was also delighted to work on my tan--everybody looks better with a little color--this is soooo true. I reveled in the beauty of this sunny day for a few hours, then I came inside, had lunch and proceeded to take a shower. Well, I'm in my bathroom about to hop in and wash the sun off, when I remember that all of my towels were in the dryer. Dangit...So I think to myself, "Nobody's home--just make a break for it." The laundry room just so happens to be on the opposite end of the house...I think, "I can make it, no big deal." I have never walked around naked in the house, let alone run. But, on this day, I made an exception. I chose to forgo any and all wisdom that had been instilled in me--I bowed down to the need for toweledge. Anyway, I stick my head out of my bedroom door--the coast is clear! Sweet! I'm good to go. So I sling open the door, and make a run for it. It was so freeing! I was enjoying the freedom for a moment, then it happened. As I'm turning the corner in a full on sprint, I happen to look towards the front door. There standing in knocking position is a man in a suit. Not just any man, but a Jehovah's Witness! I think, "Oh my God--sweet Jesus! I'm naked and there's a man--a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS--I'M NAKED! I'M NAKED! I'M NAKED!!!" I immediately slid feet first into the great room--the blinds were closed, so I was free from exposure. I peered through the blinds, looking for the man--but he was gone. I thought, "Man that was fast! Oh, well. What just happened? That just happened. I guess the Jehovah's witness, witnessed the glory of the Lord."
That is the first and last time I EVER walk out of the privacy and safety of my bedroom NAKED.