It's a Thug Story Yo! TV Gold...

Below is the intro of the CMT Awards in full...
http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/401606/2009-cmt-music-awards-show-open.jhtml?id=1614098

This is the video of just T-Sweezy and T-Pain...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY0DAwzVFig

I don't know why you can't just "click" on the URLs--so copy them and paste to your browser.

The Bridesmaid Life As I Know It...

This past Saturday my good friends Nikki and Will got hitched! It was a Greek Wedding and if you've seen the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"--then you have a pretty good idea of what I experienced this past week. Thursday there was a get together at their house with family and friends. Friday there was brunch at A Spot of Tea followed by the Wedding Rehearsal at the Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church and then Rehearsal Dinner at Felix's Fish Camp. Overall everything was wonderful and I had waaaayyyy too much fun! The Wedding Reception was held at The Ezell House--which was beautiful. Let me start off by stating that Lauren and I waited until the week of the wedding to get our dresses altered---you know how we roll--procrastinators to the core! It started off as follows:

Tuesday, Lauren and I met Nikki at her office to do a little pre-wedding P90X---to work on our glamour muscles. I get my chiropractic adjustment from Nikki--which took about 15 minutes of laying very still on the table after Nikki karate chopped my atlas back into place. Then we decided to work out...Nikki says to me, "Kristen. Did y'all ever get your dresses hemmed?" Oh no--I totally just got put on blast by the bride to be...uh oh. "Umm, no Nikki--not yet..." Nikki: "What?! Well have you gotten shoes?" Me: "Umm, no--not yet..." Nikki: "Kristen!!! I'm gonna...." She held her tongue and we loaded up in the Coralla and traveled directly to Dillard's and Shoe Station in Malbis. We found shoes and then drove to our apt., got our dresses and went to Nikki's house. Lauren tried her dress on first and needed about 3-4 inches cut off---mine needed about 6 inches cut off +cups and about 2 inches of bust line adjustments. At this point in time it's 10:30pm. We panic. Then I think to myself, "BB will know what to do!" So I call my MeMaw--the reliable night owl and get her on the phone. After receiving a mini-lecture she tells me she'll call Mrs. Hartzog--the amazing ace-in-the-hole seamstress of Atmore. So we go home and I pray....a lot...that we will get all of this taken care of tomorrow. So Wednesday morning I have a doctor's appointment at 9:15 and leave from there to go to Atmore. The weather was hurricane-like---as a matter of fact I drove through some hail in Bay Minette. The Blazer was unscathed! I arrive at BB's and we go straight to Mrs. Hartzog's. I get my dresss altered and this was a funny situation in and of itself. As all of you know, I am quite modest--I can't help it--I was raised this way. Well, as I was standing with my dress on surrounded by BB,Mrs. Hartzog and what seemed like a mountain of bridesmaid dresses, Mrs. H says to me: "What size cups do you need?" I said, "Probably the smallest you have!" She says, "Are you sure? I can give you a little cleavage? I then say to her,"No ma'am..that's ok." She says well let's just see what looks better." Then she proceeds to jam her hand in between the girls and lift them into place! It took some time for me to process what has just occured, but as I gathered my composure I realized that I had just been accousted aka "felt up" by a 65 year old lady! Oh dear. I finally told her to give me the A-cups because I didn't want to look like a liar standing in the House of The Lord. She conceded. Then it was time for me to take off my dress and I had to tell my grandmother and this lady to please step out of the room. Seriously...privacy...anyone ever heard of it? Did I mention Lauren was not with me in Atmore? Yeah she wasn't. So I had to "guess-ti-mate" everything that needed to be done to her dress.

Thursday was the get-together at Nikki and Will's house at 6:15pm. I had a really great time and we learned a few Greek dances! Good food, good people, good times! Lauren and I got home around 1:30 Friday morning :)

Our dresses were ready Friday morning. BB met me in Malbis at about 2pm,where we made the exchange after we had brunch at 11:00 am at A Spot of Tea. Next, I traveled back to Nikki's house and was given the duty of contacting the DJ with the band's set list and composing a playlist for him to play at the wedding. So I did and it worked out. Then we were off to the Rehearsal at 5:30. We made it there right on time---everyone else got there at about 5:50 and Nikki, well she made it there around 6:15. The woman is always late! This was probably the most chill and laidback rehearsal ever--probably because we were all soooo hungry! So we go to Felix's at 7:00 and I have never been so tired in my life! I'm known for being a night-owl and I was dunzo by 6:00pm. Completely out of character for me. Lauren and I had a great bathroom experience there. A woman and her two teenage girls kept going on and on about our dresses and our shoes and one of the yound ladies said to Lauren, "I love your dress! I love your hair! I love your shoes! You look beautiful!" I was in the bathroom stall and said, "Hey Lauren! We should go to the bathroom more often--it's been great for our self-esteem!" Those girls were too cute :) Off to dinner...we eat blackend Mahi-Mahi, dirty rice and the groom's cake followed by the after dinner entertainment of a video the bride and groom had produced for the special occasion. It involved the two walking on the grounds of the Grande Hotel and recounting their love story. It was a funny and precious production. In summary of their story: Will was a gold pro at the Grande Hotel and Nikki needed a golf lesson. It was 2pm on a Sunday and he was supposed to be off-work but stayed to do inventory. Nikki called and asked if anyone could give her a lesson and the guy said, "I know just the man for the job." It was Will. As the two were riding in the golf cart after the lesson to play 9 holes, Nikki looks over at Will and thinks to herself, "I could marry this guy." And that's the story. Anyway, back to the celebration. We left Felix's around 11:00pm and went to bed. Woke up Saturday morning around 6 and Lauren and I bothed spent our morning praying for Nikki and Will--without knowing that we were both doing so. We got dressed and ready and were picked up another bridesmaid at 1pm to go to The Ezell House for photos. On our way over I received a phone call from Nikki saying she was still getting her hair done---it was 1:30pm. All of us in the car were releaved because we were rushing our guts out to get there on time! So we made a few stops to get gas and a Jr. Bacon Cheesburger from Wendy's. I was starving! We make it to the Ezell house on time and Nikki made it there around 2:40pm. Yep. We take photos and Nikki had us huddle up and she told us why she chose each of us as her bridesmaids: because we were Godly women who have meant so much to her and were faithful friends and sisters--and she couldn't imagine not having us in her life. There was more but I was trying not to cry. Oh but Nikki did cry...then she asked if we would pray and Lauren offered a beautiful prayer. Then Lauren and I rode with Nikki and her brother to the church around 3:15---the wedding was at 4:00. Then we waited in a room and listed to the church fill up with people and boy was it full! At 4pm on the dot we make our way to the front of the church--Nikki cries some more and I hug her, kiss her on the cheek and tell her I love her and am so happy for her. All of the bridesmaids wrapped tissue around the stem of our nosegays because we knew we would cry. So we line up with our escorts and proceed to march down the eisle. My escort was Nikki's brother--they could pass for twins. We make it to the end of the eisle, bow before the alter which had a very ornate bible and other things placed on it--and stand before the congreation in the most beautiful and reverant church I have ever been in before in my life. I definately felt the presence of The Lord. Then Nikki and her Dad make there way down and she's sobbing--I mean sobbing the entire way down! Happy tears--extremely happy tears! I cried..everybody cried. A Greek Wedding ceremony usually lasts for about an hour--but we made it through in 45 minutes. Yes I stood in 3 inch heels for 45 minutes. And did I mention I was standing next to a very pregnant bridesmaid? I kept thinking to myself, "What if she passes out? I guess I'll sacrifice myself for the good!" It was so hot up there and my feet turned a scary black and purple. I have bruises on the feet from standing for so long! Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and it involved the priest remembering God's faithfulness in the lives of people in the bible like Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Hosea and Homer, Jacob and so one. As he would remember these people he would ask that God would bless Nikki and Will as he had them. It was beautiful--but mostly in Greek so one could only catch bits and pieces. If you want to know more--just ask me--there were some really cool parts involving crowns and walking around a table--everything was done in "3s" for the Trinity. So they're married--we make our way to the front of the church where we "received" all of the guests in attendance. About an hour later we took more photos (for about 30 minutes) and then made it to The Ezell House where the bridal party was introduced and then a champagne toast took place. I had a toast prepared but never got to give it--I'll have to write it in a card for Nikki and Will. Then we ate really good food, danced and had a throw down of a time. Lauren caught the bouquet---glad I didn't--I've caught 3 in my lifetime and so far I'm still a single lady!

On a funnier note...it is in the Greek tradition that the wedding party and family take shots of Serbian Brandy. Oh dear! Well I woke up Sunday morning with Lauren sleeping on my floor--I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Do you not remember?" I said, "Remember what?" Then she said, "I'll tell you later...that Seribian Brandy is evil!" Apparently the brandy caught up with me and I was speaking in an inaudible language, moaning and ridgid. I didn't know any of this and the stories Lauren told me I do not remember---all I know is that I had a wonderful time regardless of the "Devil's Brew"(thanks Joy). Don't worry I didn't do anything stupid or embarrassing--I forget that I'm so little and it came back and bit me in the butt! By the Grace of God I did not get sick. I'll be glad to tell you anything and everything later. Overall, the wedding was beautiful and lots of fun. I really enjoyed all of the dancing and celebration surrounding the union of the two family---one very, very southern Kentucky family to a very, very Michigan/Greek crew. All I know is that I kept telling Nikki this: "I just love you Nikki. If I had another sister it would be you." And she said, "I love you too Kristen and I am your sister." Aww. See I didn't do anything stupid---just sweet :)

The Lord's Creation at MeMaw BB's house...

Daylilie

Daylilies

Japanese Iris

Ferns. I like this perspective.

I love wheat fields! So many principles...

Daisy in BB's front yard.

Agapanthus (Lily of The Nile). If you look closely you'll see a grasshopper in the middle of it

Beautiful Daylilies.

The Mass Hysteria of Life As I Know It

Hello all! I just wanted to share with you my experience at the doctor's office today. I am fine--just had to get a Rx filled...On to the story. The first thing I encounter as I walk through the automatic doors of Thomas Hospital is a volunteer sitting behind a desk. She was wearing a pink lab coat--you know, the older-lady candy-striper badge of honor. I pause and recognize that this lady used to be a Spanish teacher at Fairhope High School and to add to her story--she's deaf in her left ear. How I remember this, I do not know--but alas I do. I say,"Hello" and she responds accordingly. I think to myself, "Dangit, I missed my chance to use whatever practical Spanish I know!" So, I noted that to myself and proceeded to my doctor's office. I take the ride up the elevator which reminds me of the scene in "You've Got Mail." Every time I get on one, I look around at the other passengers and think to myself, "What if we got stuck? What would we talk about? Do I smell B.O.? I don't think I could handle being stuck in an elevator with a smelly person..." I digress. So, I make it to my destination, safe and sound. As I walk into the office to sign in, I notice a box precariously positioned on the counter space right next to the sign-in sheet. On the box was written "Take one if you need it." What was in the box you might ask? Well, this treasure box of free booty was loaded with surgical masks. Yes, surgical masks. Apparently, people in Fairhope, Alabama are taking precautions against the "Swine Flu." Seriously. Or at least if they think they might want to....oh mass hysteria why have you come into the sleepy town of Fairhope? For a fleeting moment I almost helped myself to the masks as a joke of course--but then I opted out of the free gift with purchase that an appointment with my MD offered. On my way out of Thomas Hosptial I spy the former educator turned candy-striper/pink lady and say very confidently, "Hola!" She replied, "Huh???" If only I knew sign language...I suppose this child was indeed left behind with no second language to call my own.

My Big Fat Greek Road Trip

So it's been far too long since my last post! I've got to be honest---I have no idea where to begin! Let me preface by saying that this blog will probably be much like Wednesday is to Friday--just another hump to get over until the fun begins...
OK so let's play catch up...
At the end of February Lauren and I traveled down to Fort Myers, Florida. Getting there was an adventure in and of itself! We left on a Thursday night at 10 o'clock---it takes 9 and a half hours to get to Fort Myers---ummm, yeah. So, I find myself in the backseat of the car for about an hour and a half. Then we stopped at a rest stop near Pensacola. Upon our arrival at the rest area I found that my bladder was about to explode, so I endeavored to use the ladies room. Well, I couldn't. I mean I had a nice conversation with my bladder and try as I might I could not talk it into cooperating. We needed an intercessory--an arbitrator of sorts in order to reach a mutual agreement. After ten minutes had passed (I'm not kidding) my brilliant sister turned on the faucet and left the ladies room. Immediately the flood gates opened. I don't know what my problem was....I've never been "pee-shy." I'm thinking that my bladder has issues with public restrooms---it's a hater. The end. So, that being settled, I finally found relief. I walked outside and standing before me were two very tired, very exhausted individuals. I got tickled :) They are working women after all--I just take classes online and play with Mr. Kitty. So the next thing I know--I've been handed the keys and am now the pilot of this luxury craft--of course Jesus was my co-pilot (that was for you Joy)---and I am now in pursuit of an unknown land 8 hours away. I've never been more thankful for insomia! For those of you who know me best, you know that I do not like to proceed in anything be it a school assignment, relationship or trip--unless I know every detail, aspect, or possible scenario beforehand. Well I didn't. Somewhere deep inside of me I found the strength, courage of mind and where-with-all to accept this challenge and brave into the unknown land of "over-road-worked" Florida. I did have the help of GPS--voiced by a femmebot. Fast forward two hours...I'm driving, listening to my iPod (Coldplay was on) through the stereo--Lauren and Nikki are dead to the world--then it happened. All of a sudden Nikki shot up from the backseat and yelled "Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! Watch out for that guy!" I thought to myself, "Is she dreaming? There is no guy and we're the only ones on the road! She's delusional. Bless her heart." Then, literally an 18 wheeler (semi if you're from Gordo, AL.) came into my lane, almost forcing us off the road. Let me be clear on a couple of things: 1) There were no other cars on the road (it was 2:30 in the morning) and 2) Nikki was semi-snoring in the backseat with her face buried in her pillow--so there was no way she could have seen anything. I suppose the freaky part of this story is "How on earth did she know we were about to almost get in a wreck?" I'm going to go with the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Oh and by the way, this happened again 2 hours later and yes Lauren and Nikki were both asleep. Back to my story. So I drive the entirety of the trip--I am officially a Road Warrior and I've gotta say "it feels good." We get to Nikki's mom's house at 8:30 Friday morning and I note two things: 1) the weather is a beautiful and toasty 95 degrees and 2) I wasn't in Kansas anymore: I was smack dab in the middle of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Seriously. Nikki's mom's name is Toula, her grandmother is a short, feisty Greek version of Sofia Patrillo (Golden Girls for those who are unfamiliar) named Soula Kondyles--but referred to as "YaYa" and her grandfather's name was, of course, Nick whom they called "Papus." Instead of believing that Windex is the cure-all they stand by the healing capabilities of rubbing alcohal. Seriously. Later on in the day the three of us laid out on the beach by a really cool lighthouse that made me think about a episode of "Most Haunted" I saw on the Travel Channel. I tried to forget about it, but I had already freaked myself out. We were there for about three hours, came home and Lauren and I realized that we were absolutely fried! But only on specific places on our bodies. As I was putting the pre-refrigerated Aloe gel on Lauren, I lifted up her tank top only to discover that there, clearly displayed on her back, were perfect outlines of her hand prints! I laughed, and laughed and laughed some more! Then we started to think about it--I too had a weird outline on my right forearm that was akin to a birthmark and it was extremely red. Side note: My sunburn finally healed this week. After thinking long and hard we realized that where we used the aerosol Banana Boat Sunblock we had 2nd degree burns...OK so not 2nd degree but really, really bad ones. So, to all of you DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use the spray can--use the regular and reliable lotion of yesteryear. "New" does not always=good. Moving on. We decided to go fishing. We went to Wal*Mart, bought rods, and stopped off to get live shrimp. We didn't have anything to take the shrimp home in, so we opted to use a gallon size Ziploc bag. It worked! The shrimp did not die and the fish blew through our bait! We had to go and get 2 dozen more live shrimp after 45 minutes of delightful fishing. All I have to say is that we should all re-consider our career choices. We caught so many fish--Mangrove Snapper to be exact--impressive, right?! That's it I'm going pro. All I need are a few sponsors. Any takers? Anyway, back to My Big Fat Greek Wedding...We were treated like royalty--they wouldn't allow us to lift a finger--which made me uncomfortable. I felt like a "mooch" It was unsettling for me and just "un-southern." When they would offer us food, they would ask 3 times "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat? Are you sure?" This is actually a culture-thing. Apparently it is in poor taste to accept food/beverage the first time it is offered to you. I had no clue...Oh it gets better. On Saturday we had a feast of Greek food--Octopus, snapper(our catch of the day),spanakopita, humus, lots of olives, olive oil, pita, stuffed bell peppers, fresh fruit---lots and lots of this. I can't remember everything because I can't pronounce most of what was placed in front of me. Speaking of food being placed in front of me...I took note of my friends' experiences in foreign countries--particularly Lauren and Joy's experience in KZ and LaJuan's in Thailand. From what I gathered, when offered anything from foreign people, you take it--eat it, fight it down, and swallow with a smile. If not then one would commit a serious indiscretion against the hospitable foreign party involved. So, with this in mind, I ate everything. When everyone was finished with the Big Fat Greek dinner, there was still a lot of octopus left and Ya Ya was deeply concerned that it would be wasted. I tried to avoid eye-contact because I knew that if my eyes met with hers that it would be the end of me. Well, dang it if I didn't look at her! This was her opportunity...R.I.P. Kristen's stomach. She said, "Kristen (pronounced 'Chree-sten') don't you want some beautiful octopus? It is very good for the skin and this is the best I've ever tasted." How could I say no to Ya Ya? So I finished the rest of the sea-dwelling creature and afterwards I realized that my pallet had developed a fondness for octopus. Go figure! Oh and just for fun, Ya Ya could never remember Lauren's name and called her whatever came first to mind. My favorite of the names : Ramani. The end. Love y'all and have a great week!