Life As I Know It

The IRONMAN Life As I Know It...Yes and Amen!

2010-06-08T20:35:00.010-05:00

Hello friends! I just got finished biking a quick 20 miles and as I was riding, the thought suddenly occurred to me--I'm doing a half IRONMAN (70.3 miles, swim, bike, run) in 40 days! How I misplaced this reality, I know not...but I'm doing it and I've gotta say I'm beginning to get excited. Now, in all honesty, I am a little nervous--why? Not because I'm not perfectly capable of such a feat. I know I am and with Christ in me--the Hope of Glory--I can do anything. I sincerely mean that, live it, breath it, consume and believe this truth with all that is in me. I'm a little nervous because I don't really know what to expect. I've seen the course maps, the elevation tables, the water-way channel, etc. But seeing it on paper is so very different than actually living it out and doing it. Which brings me to this thought: What if Jesus came to me and said, "Kristen, here is the map of your life. I've marked out every turn, every ascent, every descent, every curve, every fork,every bump, every crossroad...Now go and live it." Whoa...Now, who hasn't ever said to the Lord, "Father, please show me what your plans are for my life. Please give me direction...Holy Spirit lead me in the way I should go..." I believe we all have, multiple times, if not daily. How would we respond if Our Heavenly Father--the God of the Universe, Creator of time and space, master builder and architect of our salvation; author and perfecter of our faith, the Great Counselor, the Good Shepherd, The Spring of Living Water, The Lover of Our Souls, Our Husband, Our Friend, Our Redeemer, Our greatest Joy, the Love of Our Lives---actually came down and handed us the very map of our lives--the very fabric on which our name is written--composed by the greatest "soul topographer" of all time---How would you respond? At first, I would think, "Woo hoo! Thank you Jesus! Now I know what to expect...life is gonna be so much easier now that I know EXACTLY where I should go." But then I imagine this scene unfolding: I catch a glimpse of Jesus' gaze as He watches me. He's memorizing every expression, every line on my face as I delight in the map of my life I'm holding in my hands. His eyes meet mine, they hold onto me forever--He's unmoved--fixed...steady...determined not to break our gaze. Words are unnecessary--I feel, hear, see and taste His heart for me. He is Love--extraordinary, other worldly love personified. Then I realize, my need. My greatest need is not the map of my life I held in my hands. Even with the knowledge of the course my life would take, I still would be unable to fathom how exactly every step, turn, every curve or every climb would play out. I wouldn't know how I would feel--what I would experience. The sounds, the tastes, the people, the faces; the joy, the pain, the tears, the laughter, the smiles--I would not know any of this. I would know that in the beginning I started out at point A and that in the end I will make it to point Z. I would have so many questions about the in between! I'm reminded of a quote--I'll have to paraphrase:" The lover of life lives; the liver of life loves." Which brings me to the greatest orator of all time, Jesus: The Living Word. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life, will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will surely save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Mark 8:34-37.
John 14:1-20, 1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going." 5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."
8 Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."

9Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? 10 Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. 15 "If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another, The Counselor to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

So Jesus totally blew that pion of a paraphrased quote out of the water! And now onto my greatest need...I don't need to know what will happen. I can't believe I just said that. Anyone who knows me, knows that in general I am anticipating what exactly will happen next in any given situation. I come up with at least 5 different scenarios for any given situation--and most of the time, one of them does happen. You see, I'm not so much interested in how the end will play out--most of the time I want to know "who" "what" "where" "when" and "why"---I'm a little foolish at times in this. Mainly in consideration of my life. I think to myself, "If I knew what the next point is in my life, I could run full force directly at it." But would that bring any relief? Momentarily. But then I would want to know what the next point is, and the next after that, and so on and so on. For what? Just to know? No. Because I want to know that everything will work out. That I will "run with perseverance the race marked out for me." I don't need to know everything. My greatest need is JESUS. All of God's promises are Yes in Christ. And so through Him is spoken the YES and AMEN by the Father. God's promises to me are made YES in Christ. Jesus is the Father's AMEN spoken to us. God doesn't just say Yes to us. He sees us and raises us one with Jesus--THE AMEN to us. What I need is what I already have: Christ in me, the HOPE OF GLORY. "Jesus, do you love me?" "Yes, I love you." "Jesus, are you always with me?" "Yes, I am always with you--I will never leave you." "Jesus do you have good plans for my life?" "Yes." "Jesus, is there a place for me with you?" "Yes." "Jesus, do you think I'm funny?" "Yes." "Jesus, do you think I'm beautiful?" "Yes." "Jesus, am I covered, kept, taken care of; watched over, fought for, delighted in, sung over, celebrated?" "Yes and Amen."

Are you with me on this? My hope for myself and the body of Christ is that we would dare to believe...that our lives would be the living expression of faith in His word, Hope in His promise and Love in His presence. I need Him. I don't need a map. Jesus is the GPS of my soul.

The Agitation of the Appliance Life As I Know It

2010-05-23T17:13:00.007-05:00

Hello friends! As most of you know, I work at Best Buy. What comes to mind when one ponders that of "Best Buy?" Computers, cameras, TVs, Blue Ray Disc Players, Wii, XBOX, PS2, iPod, Macbook and of course THE GEEK SQUAD. Yes, those things comprise the bulk of all that is Best Buy, but there's more. What else can you get at Best Buy? Well you can get books and all things made by THE SHARPER IMAGE--but there in the corner of every Best Buy is a super-store unlike any other. One full of shiny, stainless steel...tango red, platinum, blue steel (I kid you not--just like Zoolander)and midnight black and blue...a playground for up-and-coming Generations looking to step into all that buying a home brings, i.e. Appliances. Yes. This is the Shangri La of Best Buy. It's a pretty peaceful piece of real estate. For those who don't appreciate the symphony of hummmmms coming from the refrigerators & freezers, it is a place of quiet desperation...a place where salesmen and women go to die a slow death--plagued with the responsibility to know all things about washers and dryers; top loaders & front loaders--ENERGY STAR qualified products & those that are not. I am on the side of both opinions: it is both peaceful and mind-numbingly boring. I keep the time by making a lot of "TO DO" lists, most of which I never really get around to doing.
On the night of Sunday, May 16th, the Appliance Life as I knew it was forever changed. Things became interesting and I was forever changed...
A young couple came in looking for a washer and dryer. They seemed "normal" enough, possessing the innate distrust of all sales people and genuine inability to separate me as a person from "the MAN" known as "Best Buy." After 2 and a half hours of negotiations, we finally came to an agreement. I'm not fond of the "sales dance" at all--the customer is shown the product, the customer wants to talk the seller down, the seller(me) approaches the "highers ups" with the proposition; the seller returns to the potential buyer with the terms of the possible agreement--the buyers want more than what is being offered--the higher ups are unmoved by their request--and the seller is left to salvage what is left of a not so fun sale and so on and so on. Most of the time I feel like I'm in some sort of mix between a made for comedy mafioso genre TV show, Let's Make a Deal and Candid Camera. I check my peripherals on the regular, just waiting for a covert TV host (who may or may not sound and look like Tony Soprano) to pop out of a refrigerator and say, "$1500 for a washer & dryer for my family? Forget about it! You've insulted the family...Gotcha..." I'm totally serious. Back to my story...
I finally make the worst sale ever--there was no money to be made in this sale--at all. But you know me, I don't get caught up in things I cannot change. They were happy, so I was happy. I ring up the sale at the register...the receipt sputters out of the shoot...I hand them the receipt and say, "You guys said you have a truck right? Go ahead and pull it up to the front and I'll be up there momentarily with some guys to help load it." They look at me. They look at each other. They look at me and laugh. "Uhhh, ma'am...we've got a truck. The question is do you have a forklift?" I thought, "Oh my dear sweet Jesus! What is that supposed to mean?" It was now 20 minutes past the time I was supposed to be off. Best Buy is a ghost town. I'm looking for anyone to help me wrap the washer and dryer. I find a fellow and he helps me. It took us 15 minutes to complete this endeavor because these were floor models and they were shoved behind a steel plate that kept us from being able to remove them. We had to move 2 washer and dryer sets, just to get to the ones that I had sold. We made it. Now all we have to do is move them to the front of the store, load them and then we can go home. We make our may to the front. I'm relieved...I have a little spring in my step while pushing the dolly because I'm hungry and I can't wait to go get something to eat. I see the front doors...the finish line...I'm elated. Then it happened. I look outside and it's pouring down rain. That in and of itself would have easily thwarted the hopes of most people, but I was unmoved--I like the rain. But then I turn my attention to the noise I'm hearing--not that of thunder but an old familiar sound I hear when I'm driving down the interstate. That symphony of hydraulic brakes and clanging diesel engines...it was the sound of a SEMI. I think to myself, "Oh no you didn't. Tell me you didn't just sell this to the people sitting in the foreboding, massive, black, steel encased nightmare of a truck? Oh yes you did! Ahhhh man...this is hilarious...oh crap...how are we going to get this in there?" We watched in shock as the driver of this "big-rig" pushed a button and made the truck bed ascend to a very impressive 90 degree vertical. I had never seen this before. This indeed was a first in my history and in the history of Best Buy. Well between myself and two other guys, one of which is smaller than me, we did it. We were soaking wet, the guys were covered in the cement and mud from the truck--but we made it. I hope you've enjoyed this very small glimpse into my fun life as I know it ;)

The Modest Life As I Know It

2010-05-13T17:42:00.005-05:00

Hello friends! I know that it has been entirely too long--my bad...But I wanted to share a story with y'all that I know will have you instantly forgive me for neglecting my blog.

So I live in California now, and they have the reputation for being more liberal than most in my beloved sleepy south. I was raised to say, "Yes ma'am, no ma'am" "Yes sir, no sir" "Please" and "Thank you." My mother told me to never say anything bad about anyone--to always "bless their hearts," eat whatever is placed in front of me with gratitude, don't talk with my mouth full, stick my tongue out at people, say curse words (cuss words),smack, spit;talk back to an adult, always cross my legs and never ever hit anyone--ever. I was also raised to keep some things to myself--those things deemed "private." For example, going to the bathroom. We don't announce it--we're discrete--it's ladylike and polite. We don't do that. We also don't walk around in our underwear--that's private and it's not proper for a southern girl to be an exhibitionist. It has everything in the world to do with boundaries--respecting one's privacy. I mean, I don't want to see anybody's naked-ness. I don't want to see what your momma may or may not have given to ya and I don't want you seeing what my momma did not give me. I'm cool--keep it to yourself. I mean, I've seen my twin sister naked one time--and that was out of necessity--that is another story in and of itself. I will say that we may be twins, but we are fraternal. I digress. My roommates think that my modesty is funny. Apparently, I'm a rare occurrence--they've never really encountered someone who doesn't use the bathroom with the door open or parades around half naked--or totally. Well, here I am! So they've given me a hard time--all in jest mind you. I have some good stories, most of which I'll be glad to tell you in private. It wouldn't be polite to blog about it. On to my story.

With the previous information in mind, enjoy---this would happen to me. Oh and by the way, IT DID.

I spent one afternoon tanning outside. This day was glorious! Spring had officially "sprung" and I was especially looking forward to enjoying the warm weather as opposed to the Arctic chill I've endured for the past 6 months. I was also delighted to work on my tan--everybody looks better with a little color--this is soooo true. I reveled in the beauty of this sunny day for a few hours, then I came inside, had lunch and proceeded to take a shower. Well, I'm in my bathroom about to hop in and wash the sun off, when I remember that all of my towels were in the dryer. Dangit...So I think to myself, "Nobody's home--just make a break for it." The laundry room just so happens to be on the opposite end of the house...I think, "I can make it, no big deal." I have never walked around naked in the house, let alone run. But, on this day, I made an exception. I chose to forgo any and all wisdom that had been instilled in me--I bowed down to the need for toweledge. Anyway, I stick my head out of my bedroom door--the coast is clear! Sweet! I'm good to go. So I sling open the door, and make a run for it. It was so freeing! I was enjoying the freedom for a moment, then it happened. As I'm turning the corner in a full on sprint, I happen to look towards the front door. There standing in knocking position is a man in a suit. Not just any man, but a Jehovah's Witness! I think, "Oh my God--sweet Jesus! I'm naked and there's a man--a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS--I'M NAKED! I'M NAKED! I'M NAKED!!!" I immediately slid feet first into the great room--the blinds were closed, so I was free from exposure. I peered through the blinds, looking for the man--but he was gone. I thought, "Man that was fast! Oh, well. What just happened? That just happened. I guess the Jehovah's witness, witnessed the glory of the Lord."
That is the first and last time I EVER walk out of the privacy and safety of my bedroom NAKED.

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight...

2009-10-27T12:17:00.006-05:00

"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him..." Psalm 145: 17-20

Jesus saved my life Thursday night October 22nd. Here's my story...

Last week some very curious things kept happening and presented themselves as I drove home from work. There are two roads I can choose to take that lead me home:CR 26 or 70. In general, if I'm coming home very late at night (after 10pm) I choose to take 70 because it's not as curvy and has less traffic. This road has a place within it that houses a railway--the trains literally drive over the road. Monday night I find myself on CR 70. All is quiet...not a single car on the road to keep me company. Just me and The Blazer. I come to the railroad crossing and look to my left and I see a train coming right at me! Only,there was no train. I shrugged off the matter and attributed my "hallucination" to general fatigue or tiredness. Tuesday night I find myself on the same road, crossing the same railroad tracks and AGAIN I see a train coming directly at me! But, there was no train...Wednesday was my off-day from work and I met up with my precious sister Linn Lazenby. We went to church and had a wonderful evening together and the Lord definitely spoke to us that night--but those things are for another blog post time and place :) On my way home from Linn's house I was driving and again I find myself on CR-70. This time I am blocked by the longest tractor-trailer I have every seen before in my life! I am not exaggerating when I tell you that it was as long as 6 18-wheelers! It even had three police escorts that blocked off the entire road so it could make turns. Did I mention the police escorts were FBI-esque Tahoes? They were...So my plan to drive down CR-70 was thwarted and I opted to take CR-26 instead. I made it back safe and sound--no big deal. Thursday night I finished working very late into the evening and began my trek home around 10:30pm. It had been storming all day and was currently holding down a constant, moderate downpour. I'm driving about 55mph, have on my high beams and the radio is off so I can focus on the road. I come to the railroad crossing...the lights aren't flashing...the bells aren't sounding...I look to my left and see a train barreling down the tracks(*remember the tracks cross the road)&I am about 10 feet away from the tracks when I realize that indeed there is a REAL train and indeed the lights are not flashing and indeed I am about to die. I cry out:"JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Immediately the Blazer stops on a dime! I am exactly 10 feet away from the long black train. What is amazing is that what happened completely defies the laws of motion--specifically Inertia: An object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. So picture my situation: I am driving in a Chevrolet Blazer (notorious for flipping and hydroplaning) in the rain at a speed of 55mph. What should have happened was that the Blazer should have hydroplaned when I slammed on the breaks, causing me to go directly into the train's path. I should have been thrown around in the vehicle or at worst thrown through the windshield. But none of that happened. As soon as I cried out to Jesus I felt like I hit a wall--an invisible buffer. Kind of like when you're competing in an egg toss. You don't just catch the egg like you would a ball or something. No, you cradle it and receive it in your hands so it won't crack. Well, that's what happened. I stopped right in front of the tracks...everything I had in my passenger seat remained exactly where it had been before--nothing moved---nothing had been shaken. There was peace. I was surrounded by the Grace of God and His peace. He saved me! He had been telling me all week! He is always speaking to us--we have to become aware of His voice and recognize that indeed it is Our Father's. I shouldn't be here and yet, I am. He showed me the train long before I encountered it. There were no warning lights from the tracks---but the Lord had already shown me. He is mighty to save! He is my fortress...a sure help in times of trouble. He turned to me and heard my cry. He is Good! He is my savior...He is my Jesus--the great interceder!

You Got to Know When to Hold Em'...Know When to Fold Em'...

2009-09-22T13:13:00.004-05:00

Hello friends!
Sorry for neglecting my blogging duties---I've had a bit of writer's block, well at least until yesterday. Oh yesterday...it happened--a jewel of a story fell right into my lap. What was my first thought? "I have to blog about this asap!" So here I go.
I have been living in Bham for a little over a month and got a job the first week I started looking (Yay! Thank you sweet Jesus!!!). I am working at Best Buy as a "Digital Technologist." Sounds important, right? Don't laugh---cause' it is the hardest job I've ever had! Never thought I'd say that--but I have to know EVERYTHING about computers, digital cameras, digital SLRs, and mp3 players. Becoming an "expert" entails taking many, many certification tests that I have to pass within a 30 day period. So far, I've knocked out half of what I need to do, so that's good :)I really like my job! Okay, so onto my story...
Yesterday was the first day I flew solo in manning the fortress of cameras. I thrive in an autonomous environment--let me go and do my thing and the magic will happen. It started off as a pretty normal day--sold a few cameras and lots of accessories, helped out lots of people--so I was really enjoying myself. At about 7:30pm a gentlemen popped into my section. Now let me preface this by saying that for some reason that day I had decided to right down every encounter I had with customers. Why? I don't know. I felt compelled by The Holy Spirit. I look at this and then look at my list of "encounters" for the day. There he was: #3. So I say to him, "Oh, well hey there! You're back. Good to see you." Ok so I am very friendly, but I AM NO FLIRT. Just need to say that. So he's asking me about the big cameras--you know the ones that cost about as much as a car. Then the red flags(aka The Holy Spirit) start going off all over the place!!! He says to me, "So when do you get off work?" Please, like I'm going to tell a potential stalker when I'm going to be walking to my car...amateur. Well, I say to him, "You know, I don't really know--since I'm new here I really don't have a set schedule--I'm probably closing." In truth I got off work at 8pm--closing is at 10. Then he says, "Well, do you know very many people here (meaning Birmingham)?" So I said, "Oh yeah, I have a lot of friends who live up here!" Then he says it--the most awkward segway in the history of segways: "Well, maybe you'd like to go to dinner sometime with me." Oh just get ready for what I said...After I get over the initial shock and finally process what has just transpired, I say: "Umm, no that's okay. I don't really get very hungry. I'm good." What does that even mean??? I don't know. But then he says, "Well I can't be more than 15 years older than you." I said, "Really? I'm pretty sure you are...I'm 25." Then he says, "I'm 45. Twenty years isn't that bad." I just looked at him and with my eyes said, "Get the H away from me!" So he obliged, shook my hand and said, "It was very nice to meet you Kristen." I just said, "Uh huh, yeah." This was a really odd situation. First of all, he had already been in that day--so he came back and it was not for the purpose of making a Best Buy purchase. Secondly, the dude was 20 years older than me! Ewww!!! And thirdly, this man looked just like Kenny Rogers...a thinner version...but nonetheless he had the silver hair and full beard.
Here's my confession: As a child I had crushes on Kirk Cameron, John Stamos (Uncle Jesse was my fave)and a few others. Well, I also had an affinity for men with facial hair. Some of my bearded/stached crushes were George Michael, the guy off of "My Two Dads" and my all time favorite Tom Selleck. I still think Tom's a good looking guy..what??? Go on and say what you want, but he's a man's man. I mean hello? Quigley Down Under...The NRA. Yeah. But never, have I ever had a thing for Kenny Rogers---I don't want the recipe for his Roasters and I never will! And I am allergic to chicken.
In conclusion, I now have a designated "Best Buy Boyfriend" named Patrick who is a very good-looking seminary student. He walked me to my car and even opened my door :) There are still good guys out there--the kind that will be more than happy to be your escort and workplace boyfriend. So that's my story. Kenny Rogers has now been flagged and all is right in the world. Now if I could just get the security video from the Geek Squad...That would be amazing!

2009-08-18T16:19:00.003-05:00

The Sketchy Gas Station Bathroom Life As I Know It

2009-07-15T11:21:00.005-05:00

So yesterday I was in Mobile for my final (of 10) dental appointments. I arrived around 1:45 only to find myself in the middle of a severe thunderstorm. Needless to say, I was not excited about having an electric-powered drill in my mouth while enduring one of the worst summmer storms--that, by the way, brought with it a light show that would make any pyrotechnic engineer green with envy. Did someone say Nitrous? Cause' I'm pretty sure that's what kept me from freaking out...just saying. One hour and 3 shots later, I am finished and my mouth is set free from dental torture. But wait a minute...I can't feel my nose...uh oh...Every time I walk out of the dentist's office I look like one of those people on Ripley's Believe It or Not!--you know, the one's who can contort their faces--even being able to cover up there noses with their bottom lip. Umm yeah. Yesterday was no different. The entire right side of my face was frozen--I looked like John Edd Thompson back in 2000 when he suffered and recovered from Bell's Palsey. As I was walking to my car, "it" hit me and by "it" I mean my bladder "smacked me upside the head" screaming that we had to go--gotta go, gotta go, gotta go RIGHT NOW!!! I thought to myself, "Aww, man!!! I don't want to go anywhere looking like this!" I was momentarily beside myself.Then something in me rose up and I resolved to find a restroom because a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I remember the Chevron that sits on the corner of University and Grelot. It is the same gas station where I had a run-in with a killer bee. I pull up to the Chevron and walk in. I'm greeted by a man who looks and acts like the very effeminate black-guy from Bravo's The Fashion Show. Just a note: Issac Mizrahi is no Heidi Klum. Yeah, I said it. Anyway, I open the bathroom door with my shirt-sleeve and proceed to reach for the light switch. I flip the switch and....nothing...nada...zero light. Great.I've already locked myself in the bathroom and now I can't see. Blackberry to the rescue! I pull my phone out and use my handy "Flashlight" App to shed a little light on the toilet seat. As I am doing my thing I finally notice that it smells a little odd in here. No, I'm not talking about the usual fright-fest of odors that seem to linger in a public restroom. This was different. I search through the roll-a-dex of smells in my head and finally pinpoint the source of odorous emission. "What was it?," you ask. Well, friends it was WEED. Yes, WEED. As in, marijuana, pot, Mary Jane, reefer, dope, hash, chronic herb and grass. I immediately think to myself, "This is kind of funny. Someone has literally bonged-out the bathroom." I get out of their really quickly, walk up to the girly-man clerk (crooked face and all) and say, "Hey. Umm, the Women's bathroom light is out and it smells like weed. Have a nice day."

Jillian and Ben Got Hitched!!! WOO HOO!!!

2009-07-14T11:38:00.002-05:00

My little Jillian Michelle (Jillian "Alexis" as she sometimes likes to say)got married this past Saturday to Ben McMillan,a wonderful man who loves the Lord :) Here are a few photos of the weekend events...

2009-07-14T11:23:00.014-05:00

It's a Thug Story Yo! TV Gold...

2009-06-17T02:34:00.006-05:00

Below is the intro of the CMT Awards in full...
http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/401606/2009-cmt-music-awards-show-open.jhtml?id=1614098

This is the video of just T-Sweezy and T-Pain...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY0DAwzVFig

I don't know why you can't just "click" on the URLs--so copy them and paste to your browser.

The Bridesmaid Life As I Know It...

2009-06-01T12:20:00.011-05:00

This past Saturday my good friends Nikki and Will got hitched! It was a Greek Wedding and if you've seen the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"--then you have a pretty good idea of what I experienced this past week. Thursday there was a get together at their house with family and friends. Friday there was brunch at A Spot of Tea followed by the Wedding Rehearsal at the Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church and then Rehearsal Dinner at Felix's Fish Camp. Overall everything was wonderful and I had waaaayyyy too much fun! The Wedding Reception was held at The Ezell House--which was beautiful. Let me start off by stating that Lauren and I waited until the week of the wedding to get our dresses altered---you know how we roll--procrastinators to the core! It started off as follows:

Tuesday, Lauren and I met Nikki at her office to do a little pre-wedding P90X---to work on our glamour muscles. I get my chiropractic adjustment from Nikki--which took about 15 minutes of laying very still on the table after Nikki karate chopped my atlas back into place. Then we decided to work out...Nikki says to me, "Kristen. Did y'all ever get your dresses hemmed?" Oh no--I totally just got put on blast by the bride to be...uh oh. "Umm, no Nikki--not yet..." Nikki: "What?! Well have you gotten shoes?" Me: "Umm, no--not yet..." Nikki: "Kristen!!! I'm gonna...." She held her tongue and we loaded up in the Coralla and traveled directly to Dillard's and Shoe Station in Malbis. We found shoes and then drove to our apt., got our dresses and went to Nikki's house. Lauren tried her dress on first and needed about 3-4 inches cut off---mine needed about 6 inches cut off +cups and about 2 inches of bust line adjustments. At this point in time it's 10:30pm. We panic. Then I think to myself, "BB will know what to do!" So I call my MeMaw--the reliable night owl and get her on the phone. After receiving a mini-lecture she tells me she'll call Mrs. Hartzog--the amazing ace-in-the-hole seamstress of Atmore. So we go home and I pray....a lot...that we will get all of this taken care of tomorrow. So Wednesday morning I have a doctor's appointment at 9:15 and leave from there to go to Atmore. The weather was hurricane-like---as a matter of fact I drove through some hail in Bay Minette. The Blazer was unscathed! I arrive at BB's and we go straight to Mrs. Hartzog's. I get my dresss altered and this was a funny situation in and of itself. As all of you know, I am quite modest--I can't help it--I was raised this way. Well, as I was standing with my dress on surrounded by BB,Mrs. Hartzog and what seemed like a mountain of bridesmaid dresses, Mrs. H says to me: "What size cups do you need?" I said, "Probably the smallest you have!" She says, "Are you sure? I can give you a little cleavage? I then say to her,"No ma'am..that's ok." She says well let's just see what looks better." Then she proceeds to jam her hand in between the girls and lift them into place! It took some time for me to process what has just occured, but as I gathered my composure I realized that I had just been accousted aka "felt up" by a 65 year old lady! Oh dear. I finally told her to give me the A-cups because I didn't want to look like a liar standing in the House of The Lord. She conceded. Then it was time for me to take off my dress and I had to tell my grandmother and this lady to please step out of the room. Seriously...privacy...anyone ever heard of it? Did I mention Lauren was not with me in Atmore? Yeah she wasn't. So I had to "guess-ti-mate" everything that needed to be done to her dress.

Thursday was the get-together at Nikki and Will's house at 6:15pm. I had a really great time and we learned a few Greek dances! Good food, good people, good times! Lauren and I got home around 1:30 Friday morning :)

Our dresses were ready Friday morning. BB met me in Malbis at about 2pm,where we made the exchange after we had brunch at 11:00 am at A Spot of Tea. Next, I traveled back to Nikki's house and was given the duty of contacting the DJ with the band's set list and composing a playlist for him to play at the wedding. So I did and it worked out. Then we were off to the Rehearsal at 5:30. We made it there right on time---everyone else got there at about 5:50 and Nikki, well she made it there around 6:15. The woman is always late! This was probably the most chill and laidback rehearsal ever--probably because we were all soooo hungry! So we go to Felix's at 7:00 and I have never been so tired in my life! I'm known for being a night-owl and I was dunzo by 6:00pm. Completely out of character for me. Lauren and I had a great bathroom experience there. A woman and her two teenage girls kept going on and on about our dresses and our shoes and one of the yound ladies said to Lauren, "I love your dress! I love your hair! I love your shoes! You look beautiful!" I was in the bathroom stall and said, "Hey Lauren! We should go to the bathroom more often--it's been great for our self-esteem!" Those girls were too cute :) Off to dinner...we eat blackend Mahi-Mahi, dirty rice and the groom's cake followed by the after dinner entertainment of a video the bride and groom had produced for the special occasion. It involved the two walking on the grounds of the Grande Hotel and recounting their love story. It was a funny and precious production. In summary of their story: Will was a gold pro at the Grande Hotel and Nikki needed a golf lesson. It was 2pm on a Sunday and he was supposed to be off-work but stayed to do inventory. Nikki called and asked if anyone could give her a lesson and the guy said, "I know just the man for the job." It was Will. As the two were riding in the golf cart after the lesson to play 9 holes, Nikki looks over at Will and thinks to herself, "I could marry this guy." And that's the story. Anyway, back to the celebration. We left Felix's around 11:00pm and went to bed. Woke up Saturday morning around 6 and Lauren and I bothed spent our morning praying for Nikki and Will--without knowing that we were both doing so. We got dressed and ready and were picked up another bridesmaid at 1pm to go to The Ezell House for photos. On our way over I received a phone call from Nikki saying she was still getting her hair done---it was 1:30pm. All of us in the car were releaved because we were rushing our guts out to get there on time! So we made a few stops to get gas and a Jr. Bacon Cheesburger from Wendy's. I was starving! We make it to the Ezell house on time and Nikki made it there around 2:40pm. Yep. We take photos and Nikki had us huddle up and she told us why she chose each of us as her bridesmaids: because we were Godly women who have meant so much to her and were faithful friends and sisters--and she couldn't imagine not having us in her life. There was more but I was trying not to cry. Oh but Nikki did cry...then she asked if we would pray and Lauren offered a beautiful prayer. Then Lauren and I rode with Nikki and her brother to the church around 3:15---the wedding was at 4:00. Then we waited in a room and listed to the church fill up with people and boy was it full! At 4pm on the dot we make our way to the front of the church--Nikki cries some more and I hug her, kiss her on the cheek and tell her I love her and am so happy for her. All of the bridesmaids wrapped tissue around the stem of our nosegays because we knew we would cry. So we line up with our escorts and proceed to march down the eisle. My escort was Nikki's brother--they could pass for twins. We make it to the end of the eisle, bow before the alter which had a very ornate bible and other things placed on it--and stand before the congreation in the most beautiful and reverant church I have ever been in before in my life. I definately felt the presence of The Lord. Then Nikki and her Dad make there way down and she's sobbing--I mean sobbing the entire way down! Happy tears--extremely happy tears! I cried..everybody cried. A Greek Wedding ceremony usually lasts for about an hour--but we made it through in 45 minutes. Yes I stood in 3 inch heels for 45 minutes. And did I mention I was standing next to a very pregnant bridesmaid? I kept thinking to myself, "What if she passes out? I guess I'll sacrifice myself for the good!" It was so hot up there and my feet turned a scary black and purple. I have bruises on the feet from standing for so long! Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and it involved the priest remembering God's faithfulness in the lives of people in the bible like Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Hosea and Homer, Jacob and so one. As he would remember these people he would ask that God would bless Nikki and Will as he had them. It was beautiful--but mostly in Greek so one could only catch bits and pieces. If you want to know more--just ask me--there were some really cool parts involving crowns and walking around a table--everything was done in "3s" for the Trinity. So they're married--we make our way to the front of the church where we "received" all of the guests in attendance. About an hour later we took more photos (for about 30 minutes) and then made it to The Ezell House where the bridal party was introduced and then a champagne toast took place. I had a toast prepared but never got to give it--I'll have to write it in a card for Nikki and Will. Then we ate really good food, danced and had a throw down of a time. Lauren caught the bouquet---glad I didn't--I've caught 3 in my lifetime and so far I'm still a single lady!

On a funnier note...it is in the Greek tradition that the wedding party and family take shots of Serbian Brandy. Oh dear! Well I woke up Sunday morning with Lauren sleeping on my floor--I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Do you not remember?" I said, "Remember what?" Then she said, "I'll tell you later...that Seribian Brandy is evil!" Apparently the brandy caught up with me and I was speaking in an inaudible language, moaning and ridgid. I didn't know any of this and the stories Lauren told me I do not remember---all I know is that I had a wonderful time regardless of the "Devil's Brew"(thanks Joy). Don't worry I didn't do anything stupid or embarrassing--I forget that I'm so little and it came back and bit me in the butt! By the Grace of God I did not get sick. I'll be glad to tell you anything and everything later. Overall, the wedding was beautiful and lots of fun. I really enjoyed all of the dancing and celebration surrounding the union of the two family---one very, very southern Kentucky family to a very, very Michigan/Greek crew. All I know is that I kept telling Nikki this: "I just love you Nikki. If I had another sister it would be you." And she said, "I love you too Kristen and I am your sister." Aww. See I didn't do anything stupid---just sweet :)

The Lord's Creation at MeMaw BB's house...

2009-05-11T09:19:00.012-05:00

Daylilie

Daylilies

Japanese Iris

Ferns. I like this perspective.

I love wheat fields! So many principles...

Daisy in BB's front yard.

Agapanthus (Lily of The Nile). If you look closely you'll see a grasshopper in the middle of it

Beautiful Daylilies.

The Mass Hysteria of Life As I Know It

2009-04-30T12:54:00.004-05:00

Hello all! I just wanted to share with you my experience at the doctor's office today. I am fine--just had to get a Rx filled...On to the story. The first thing I encounter as I walk through the automatic doors of Thomas Hospital is a volunteer sitting behind a desk. She was wearing a pink lab coat--you know, the older-lady candy-striper badge of honor. I pause and recognize that this lady used to be a Spanish teacher at Fairhope High School and to add to her story--she's deaf in her left ear. How I remember this, I do not know--but alas I do. I say,"Hello" and she responds accordingly. I think to myself, "Dangit, I missed my chance to use whatever practical Spanish I know!" So, I noted that to myself and proceeded to my doctor's office. I take the ride up the elevator which reminds me of the scene in "You've Got Mail." Every time I get on one, I look around at the other passengers and think to myself, "What if we got stuck? What would we talk about? Do I smell B.O.? I don't think I could handle being stuck in an elevator with a smelly person..." I digress. So, I make it to my destination, safe and sound. As I walk into the office to sign in, I notice a box precariously positioned on the counter space right next to the sign-in sheet. On the box was written "Take one if you need it." What was in the box you might ask? Well, this treasure box of free booty was loaded with surgical masks. Yes, surgical masks. Apparently, people in Fairhope, Alabama are taking precautions against the "Swine Flu." Seriously. Or at least if they think they might want to....oh mass hysteria why have you come into the sleepy town of Fairhope? For a fleeting moment I almost helped myself to the masks as a joke of course--but then I opted out of the free gift with purchase that an appointment with my MD offered. On my way out of Thomas Hosptial I spy the former educator turned candy-striper/pink lady and say very confidently, "Hola!" She replied, "Huh???" If only I knew sign language...I suppose this child was indeed left behind with no second language to call my own.

My Big Fat Greek Road Trip

2009-03-24T10:12:00.004-05:00

So it's been far too long since my last post! I've got to be honest---I have no idea where to begin! Let me preface by saying that this blog will probably be much like Wednesday is to Friday--just another hump to get over until the fun begins...
OK so let's play catch up...
At the end of February Lauren and I traveled down to Fort Myers, Florida. Getting there was an adventure in and of itself! We left on a Thursday night at 10 o'clock---it takes 9 and a half hours to get to Fort Myers---ummm, yeah. So, I find myself in the backseat of the car for about an hour and a half. Then we stopped at a rest stop near Pensacola. Upon our arrival at the rest area I found that my bladder was about to explode, so I endeavored to use the ladies room. Well, I couldn't. I mean I had a nice conversation with my bladder and try as I might I could not talk it into cooperating. We needed an intercessory--an arbitrator of sorts in order to reach a mutual agreement. After ten minutes had passed (I'm not kidding) my brilliant sister turned on the faucet and left the ladies room. Immediately the flood gates opened. I don't know what my problem was....I've never been "pee-shy." I'm thinking that my bladder has issues with public restrooms---it's a hater. The end. So, that being settled, I finally found relief. I walked outside and standing before me were two very tired, very exhausted individuals. I got tickled :) They are working women after all--I just take classes online and play with Mr. Kitty. So the next thing I know--I've been handed the keys and am now the pilot of this luxury craft--of course Jesus was my co-pilot (that was for you Joy)---and I am now in pursuit of an unknown land 8 hours away. I've never been more thankful for insomia! For those of you who know me best, you know that I do not like to proceed in anything be it a school assignment, relationship or trip--unless I know every detail, aspect, or possible scenario beforehand. Well I didn't. Somewhere deep inside of me I found the strength, courage of mind and where-with-all to accept this challenge and brave into the unknown land of "over-road-worked" Florida. I did have the help of GPS--voiced by a femmebot. Fast forward two hours...I'm driving, listening to my iPod (Coldplay was on) through the stereo--Lauren and Nikki are dead to the world--then it happened. All of a sudden Nikki shot up from the backseat and yelled "Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! Watch out for that guy!" I thought to myself, "Is she dreaming? There is no guy and we're the only ones on the road! She's delusional. Bless her heart." Then, literally an 18 wheeler (semi if you're from Gordo, AL.) came into my lane, almost forcing us off the road. Let me be clear on a couple of things: 1) There were no other cars on the road (it was 2:30 in the morning) and 2) Nikki was semi-snoring in the backseat with her face buried in her pillow--so there was no way she could have seen anything. I suppose the freaky part of this story is "How on earth did she know we were about to almost get in a wreck?" I'm going to go with the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Oh and by the way, this happened again 2 hours later and yes Lauren and Nikki were both asleep. Back to my story. So I drive the entirety of the trip--I am officially a Road Warrior and I've gotta say "it feels good." We get to Nikki's mom's house at 8:30 Friday morning and I note two things: 1) the weather is a beautiful and toasty 95 degrees and 2) I wasn't in Kansas anymore: I was smack dab in the middle of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Seriously. Nikki's mom's name is Toula, her grandmother is a short, feisty Greek version of Sofia Patrillo (Golden Girls for those who are unfamiliar) named Soula Kondyles--but referred to as "YaYa" and her grandfather's name was, of course, Nick whom they called "Papus." Instead of believing that Windex is the cure-all they stand by the healing capabilities of rubbing alcohal. Seriously. Later on in the day the three of us laid out on the beach by a really cool lighthouse that made me think about a episode of "Most Haunted" I saw on the Travel Channel. I tried to forget about it, but I had already freaked myself out. We were there for about three hours, came home and Lauren and I realized that we were absolutely fried! But only on specific places on our bodies. As I was putting the pre-refrigerated Aloe gel on Lauren, I lifted up her tank top only to discover that there, clearly displayed on her back, were perfect outlines of her hand prints! I laughed, and laughed and laughed some more! Then we started to think about it--I too had a weird outline on my right forearm that was akin to a birthmark and it was extremely red. Side note: My sunburn finally healed this week. After thinking long and hard we realized that where we used the aerosol Banana Boat Sunblock we had 2nd degree burns...OK so not 2nd degree but really, really bad ones. So, to all of you DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use the spray can--use the regular and reliable lotion of yesteryear. "New" does not always=good. Moving on. We decided to go fishing. We went to Wal*Mart, bought rods, and stopped off to get live shrimp. We didn't have anything to take the shrimp home in, so we opted to use a gallon size Ziploc bag. It worked! The shrimp did not die and the fish blew through our bait! We had to go and get 2 dozen more live shrimp after 45 minutes of delightful fishing. All I have to say is that we should all re-consider our career choices. We caught so many fish--Mangrove Snapper to be exact--impressive, right?! That's it I'm going pro. All I need are a few sponsors. Any takers? Anyway, back to My Big Fat Greek Wedding...We were treated like royalty--they wouldn't allow us to lift a finger--which made me uncomfortable. I felt like a "mooch" It was unsettling for me and just "un-southern." When they would offer us food, they would ask 3 times "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat? Are you sure?" This is actually a culture-thing. Apparently it is in poor taste to accept food/beverage the first time it is offered to you. I had no clue...Oh it gets better. On Saturday we had a feast of Greek food--Octopus, snapper(our catch of the day),spanakopita, humus, lots of olives, olive oil, pita, stuffed bell peppers, fresh fruit---lots and lots of this. I can't remember everything because I can't pronounce most of what was placed in front of me. Speaking of food being placed in front of me...I took note of my friends' experiences in foreign countries--particularly Lauren and Joy's experience in KZ and LaJuan's in Thailand. From what I gathered, when offered anything from foreign people, you take it--eat it, fight it down, and swallow with a smile. If not then one would commit a serious indiscretion against the hospitable foreign party involved. So, with this in mind, I ate everything. When everyone was finished with the Big Fat Greek dinner, there was still a lot of octopus left and Ya Ya was deeply concerned that it would be wasted. I tried to avoid eye-contact because I knew that if my eyes met with hers that it would be the end of me. Well, dang it if I didn't look at her! This was her opportunity...R.I.P. Kristen's stomach. She said, "Kristen (pronounced 'Chree-sten') don't you want some beautiful octopus? It is very good for the skin and this is the best I've ever tasted." How could I say no to Ya Ya? So I finished the rest of the sea-dwelling creature and afterwards I realized that my pallet had developed a fondness for octopus. Go figure! Oh and just for fun, Ya Ya could never remember Lauren's name and called her whatever came first to mind. My favorite of the names : Ramani. The end. Love y'all and have a great week!

The Good Life As I Know It

2009-01-30T09:48:00.005-06:00

25 Things You Need to Know....by popular demand:

2009-01-29T11:06:00.004-06:00

1. I was almost attacked by a shark in Destin, Fla. I had been water skiing and had dropped the line. I was waiting patiently, bobbing up and down, for the boat to come back and get me. Unbeknownst to me, I was being stalked by a Bull Shark.

2. While attempting to prepare an area in our backyard for a garden, I dug up our cat that "ran away" 4 years before. I guess he never made it to Vegas...I'd like to add that garbage bags are not biodegradable. Go green?!

3. I have had over 15 concussions and I'm not cognitively impaired...at least I think so. Wait... What was I just talking about?

4. While working at the tanning salon, a convicted felon fell in love with me. For real.

5. Also at Planet Beach, one of my male customers,whom I assume was intoxicated, came out of his room with nothing but a shirt on to tell me that his bed was not "on." The whole naked with only a t-shirt on is only endearing for pre-schoolers.

6. I had plastic surgery done on my face after a deaf Mormon boy hit me in the head with a 6 iron. What? So I've had a little work done...

7. I lost my hearing for 5 minutes after a girl on the opposing softball team hit me in the back of the head while attempting to practice swinging her bat. That's why they have designated circles.

8. Adding to the softball theme: I only struck out once in my career because my coach MADE me...stupid strategy. I'm pretty sure we lost anyway. Way to take one for the team.

9. I have kissed 26+ or - boys, one of which was an Aussie---I guess I'm very diplomatic when it comes to foreign relations....such Trash!!! Don't judge me. I have convictions now!

10. I hate mayonnaise.

11. I have had the Heimlich maneuver performed on me.

12. I have broken my nose twice, dislocated my shoulder twice, broken every finger--thumbs excluded and 3 toes.

13. When I was 10 I was asked to be a foreign exchange student to Ireland. To think I could have gone back to my roots. What might have been....

14. People used to ask my mom and dad if I "really talked like that." As Joy has previously stated, I had an unusually high-pitched voice. Thank God for puberty.

15. I was told that I have a high pain tolerance. I guess that's good news?!

16. I've been in a car that was struck by lightning. I was riding in the back of a Taurus station wagon and saw lightning strike a transformer and then immediately head straight for the car. Let me add that I was sitting next to the Preacher's daughter. Coincidence? I think not.

17. I have been electrocuted 5 times.

18. I accidentally set an apartment complex on fire after burning pictures of my 6th grade boyfriend. Fire and love go together, right? Two years later I caught my sister's room on fire via a scented candle that had dried flowers in the wax.

19. I was left-handed until my parents made me change. According to research, that's a no-no.

20. I was once written up in the 8th grade for kissing my boyfriend on the cheek. If I knew I was about to go down I would have gone out in a blaze of glory and made it worth my while...Interestingly enough, the day we had OCS we stayed after Field Day and cleaned up the school. During my cleaning I stumbled upon an adult video. I told my vice-Principal and he said, "I'll take that."

21. You all know this but I'm going to say it anyway. I once had green hair after I lost my mind during a break-up. In the words of Joy and Eva: "Once you go blonde, you don't go back!" Words to live by girls.

22. I'm good at math especially Trigonometry.

23. I have had 6 majors in my college career and as of today I'm back to my first. The circle of life...

24. I have seen and heard supernatural things. You wanna know, ask me later.

25. I danced onstage with the Beach Boys when I was 4 years old.

Bonus: My family did not know that I existed until ONE month before I was born. I was born breech, weighing a pound less being an inch shorter than Lauren and I failed that test they give newborns because I had jaundice and my right arm didn't work. I had physical therapy for 6 months. Seriously? It's been a battle since birth :) Oh and my delivery was free.

My Accident-Prone Life As I Know It

2009-01-09T14:01:00.005-06:00

Hello Friends!

As you all know Wednesday January 7th, we moved from the M-O-B to the utopian waterfront city of Fairhope. Lauren was teaching that day so I had to finish packing. Allow me to elaborate...I woke up at 5, made coffee and was greeted by a squinty-eyed Lauren, who said, "What are you doing up?" I replied, "Well, in case you've forgotten we're moving today and by 'we' I mean 'I' am moving us today while you go and teach adolescents with crazed hormones. She said, "Oh yeah...have fun with that! You can do it Lyles--just keep moving." This reminded me of a scene from the Disney/Pixar film Finding Nemo where Dori, the blue fish voiced by Ellen, keeps saying to herself "just keep swimming." All day long I had that in my head...just keep swimming...and really I had no other choice. At 6 o'clock I packed up Lauren's entire room as well as my own.
This feat demanded that I take apart the beds, which meant that I was to remove all bedding, man-handle the mattresses and box-springs and make good use of the Leatherman WAVE tool Lauren got me for Christmas in 2000. Well, I did all of that. As I was standing in Lauren's room my eyes shifted heavenward and I saw the dreaded ceiling fan... CRAP.
I had to un-install that monstrosity all by my lonesome. This was a rather disconcerting realization because 1) it is really heavy 2) I'm only 5" 2' and cannot reach 8 feet even with the use of a chair and 3) I didn't want to get electrocuted and die. This is not an unfamiliar scenario for me at all--being electrocuted is a reality for me. Just ask anyone who I lived with me during Summer Beach Project 2005---I was electrocuted 3 times. So not cool. Anyway, an hour and a half later I managed to complete this mission. I would like to note that I stood on top of a bed side table on one leg, looking like Captain Morgan. Moving on. I finally finish packing and moved all of our boxes into the center of the den. Most of our boxes contained books...very very large amounts of books...obnoxious amounts of poundage for me to move. With the help of sweet Jesus I made out OK. At 11:00 Two Men and a Truck showed up--early--I was expecting them between 11:30 and 1:30. They blew into my apartment and moved everything out in under 45 minutes. I felt like I had seen an apparition or something...I almost forgot they had been there because it all happened so fast!
Next thing--This is where it gets good so keep reading... Bethany came over, armed with a Foo-snack and a servant's heart and willingly submitted herself to my moving needs. So she and I put all of Lauren's clothes in the back of her Cougar--which has a hatch-back. As we are standing on the posterior end she goes to push Lauren's bag of shoes forward and inadvertently pushed down on her trunk cover--which unlocked the hydraulic mechanism that keeps the trunk open, which in turn sent the trunk flying directly towards my face, where it bypassed my forehead and made it's final resting place on my nose. CRACK!!! "Oh holy crap," I thought. "I just broke my nose!!! Aww man...this has happened before...dangit I don't want to look like my grandfather!!!" Well, it was indeed broken--just confirmed today. On top of that my grandmother (BB) knocked me in the head with a set of metal bed-rails. Her reply was, "Damn!!! I'm sorry Kris. You OK baby? We need to just put you in a padded room. Seriously, I do believe I had a concussion. Thank you for taking the time to read all about my injuries suffered, earned and endured. If I didn't have people to laugh with me I might have to cry. But really, I probably wouldn't. Love y'all and have a great weekend.

The New Adventures of Old Kristen

2009-01-03T11:59:00.002-06:00

The countdown has begun and I could not be more thrilled to move back to the Alma mater of my childhood--that's right Fairhope! Woo hoo! So last Saturday I ventured out to explore the old homestead and found myself once again on the Fairhope Pier--affectionately known to Fairhopians as "The Big Pier." I have a lot of memories attached to that pier, from walking it's length hand in hand with my parents armed with my favorite ice cream (blueberry cheesecake) to getting caught in a squall on a Sea Doo when I was sixteen. The rope from the tube we were pulling got sucked into the jet and yep we had no knife to cut it out--so we drifted aimlessly towards the Big Pier amidst 10 foot waves and ominous black skies ( most of us--Lauren swam 100 yards to shore to get help although she didn't fair to well in that endeavor) clinging only to the hope of once again touching dry land. When we reached the pier two big men reached down from above as if they were maritime angels sent from heaven and pulled us up to safety. Needless to say I have never gone out boating without a knife or a cell phone.

But my most recent visit to the beloved pier proved to be a most interesting experience indeed. I saw three things that are blog-worthy: The first was a bride and groom accompanied by their party trying to acquire beautiful pictures to one day show their children. It was an overcast day so hopefully the photographer is good with lighting...Secondly, I saw a posse of sad, downcast and devastated people who took up the entire width of the pier. The leader of the pack was a women in her seventies riding a Rascal---she drove with one hand and with the other wiped away her tear-filled eyes. I thought, "What in the world is going on?" Then I saw it. I was in shock and again I thought to myself, "Noooo...that can't be...seriously???" Well it was exactly what I thought it was: a bag carrying an urn. The family was heading to the end of the pier to spread their beloved's ashes into Mobile Bay. The third scene I have to say was most disturbing. I looked up from the 10 foot long pier adjacent and attached to the Big Pier and saw a couple, hand in hand, giddy and in love. But something caught my attention...something was amiss within this moment. Then it hit me. The male counterpart of the couple was not male at all. No. In fact he was indeed a she. Whoa!!! Holy crap! A transvestite--a She-male. So not cool. After surviving a scene of life and love and one of death this particular event sent me into a tailspin. I was finished enjoying The Fairhope Pier and in the words of American Idol second place finisher Kathryn McPhee I was "So Over It."

Hopefully my next visit will produce stories of Mullets jumping, Pelicans flying and maybe just maybe a Jubilee...

R.I.P. Stuart Little

2008-11-15T16:46:00.009-06:00

Today I got the bright idea to mosey on over to the Super Secret
Wal-Mart off of Cottage Hill, in order to save a little dough and maybe, just maybe avoid any and all holiday shoppers. But this day turned out to be much more than I had anticipated. Aside from the usual events that take place in the sleepy South on Saturdays, i.e. SEC Football--I was thrown the curve ball of curve balls. Let me set the scene. I left my apartment at approximately 2pm with my grocery list in hand and proceeded to Wal-Mart. Upon arriving at my not-so-undisclosed destination, I parked my car while avoiding running over children--whose parents should take my advice and march back into the store and purchase a kid-e leash. Do they not get TLC? Have they not seen Jon and Kate Plus 8? Seriously, parking is much more complicated than in days of old due to the many distractions that my ADHD mind is bombarded with. Really, everyday the world around me offers up a full on assault for my senses. Did I mention I have ADHD? OK, so I park my car, grab my purse and make my way into the store. The automatic ENTER/EXIT doors opened, which can be extremely confusing since people are prone to enter via the exit and or exit via the entrance doors. The doors are clearly marked, but who's gonna stop em'? I have a theory. I think that on a subconscious level people want to "stick it to the man" "buck authority" "rebel" and much like Henry David Thoreau, carry out acts of "Civil Disobedience." Back to the pressing matter at hand... I proceeded to cross the threshold where, unbeknownst to me, I would come face to face with a sight of horror. After surviving the F5 tornadic winds--you know what I'm talking about, that gust of wind that hits you smack in the melon and completely ruins your hair--yeah, that mysterious gust housed in the breezeway, I owned it! A very nice woman greeted me at the door, whom I believe is probably an undercover operative looking to sniff out shoplifters. Just a hunch...I got so distracted by her eager and warm welcome that I forgot to get my cart. I don't believe in chance or in luck. Serendipity is a term that I have held in high regard for it's pleasantry when leaving one's lips--but none the less I do not believe in accidents whether happy or not. Which brings me to this question: what's the antithesis of serendipity? I'll stop I promise. I turn around and exited where just moments before I had entered. I find myself waiting in line to get a shopping cart and once the sea of shoppers had parted, I made my way into the cart terminal. At first I thought of going for the cart to my left but something in me moved my feet towards the right. I was either compelled or possessed--who knows? I take hold of the cart and yank it from it's other cart friends, only for my chosen cart to reveal a most disturbing scene. There on the cold, painted gray cement was a dead body. No it wasn't a person. It...was...a.............wait......for....it....a........RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness! Oh dear! Holy crap! Shiza! OMG, OMG!!! There it was or at least what was left of it's mangled body. I'm not even going to describe what the crime scene looked like. I don't think I'll ever get it out of my head. As I looked into it's lifeless eyes I felt a pull within my heart--but then I remembered it was a rat and that rats carry diseases and I should step away from the rat ASAP. So I told myself, "Self, step away from the rat." I complied. But I couldn't just leave it there. I panicked. But just as quickly as they came, my fears subsided when I saw the answer to my dilemma: one cart boy donning a very conspicuous hunter-orange colored vest. He was my knight in Hunter Orange. "Excuse me sir," I whispered. He motioned the go-to, "Who? Me?" Then I motioned the go-to, never fails come hither "finger curl." All I have to say is Match. Set. Point. He thought I was hitting on him and was all "aww shucks" but then I hit him with the dirty work. "Umm, there's a dead rat over there and there's a lot of blood." "A what!? A dead(insert whisper sprinkled with shock) rat?!" "Yes, it is a rat and yes it is dead rat." I watched as the color drained from this strapping young man's face. Honestly, I got a kick out of it. There's something so pleasing in seeing a man squirm or get squeemish. Does that make me a bad person? I think not.

So to all of the Wal-Mart shoppers I say "You're welcome." This good samaritan saved you and your children from the anguish and certainty of nightmares to follow, involving the deaths of our beloved childhood mice: Stuart Little, The Great Mouse Detectives, The Mouse and the Motorcycle,Fievel and Mickey Mouse.
Just a note: Stuart is my favorite--he's just too cute and Mr. Kitty bears a striking resemblance to him. Stuart Little=LOVE in my book.

Songs of the Season

2008-11-09T12:54:00.013-06:00

Today I write with much love swelling up from within my heart. I am anxiously anticipating our next holiday--and no I'm not speaking of Thanksgiving,although I have much to be thankful for. I am referring to the "holiday of holidays"-- the "season of seasons"-- the best of times...You've got it:Christmas! I love everything about this time especially because it is a season of remembrance for the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ--mad props Constantine. But as an added bonus to the true reason I love Christmas (Jesus) is the music. Let me just say that when I say "music" I am not referring to that load of poo we hear over and over again in the mall or at Target. No! I am speaking of those Cd's that take refuge in our cases and desk drawers, eagerly anticipating that day and time where they will be removed from those places of safe harbor and once again resume their role as celebratory and nostalgia-filled merry-makers, to be broadcast over loud speakers in our homes, cars and the occasional parade or two. I am not ashamed of my love for Christmas music. I am professing my undying love for those classics of yesterday that never cease to evoke the awe and wonder of my childhood. I long for those times when composers actually composed music with intentional care and reverence for the season. Needless to say I will not be purchasing the litany of albums put out at mind blowing speed just in time for the holidays by Pop artists such as The Cheetah Girls or their trashy-not classy older sisters The Pussy Cat Dolls or by any other poser-composers. Nope. I've been called a lot of things in my life--stubborn, hard-headed etc. But I've never been called a fool or pushover and I'm not about to give the world a reason to make a new claim. So today I salute those Christmas classics of the past with much gratitude and love. This music has made the car ride from Fairhope to Atmore and Mobile to Atmore every Christmas Eve for the past 20 years, all the more tolerable and has left me filled with a sense of wonder that has never ceased to leave. I have to admit that every time I see a blinking red light in the distance coming from a radio tower--for a moment I think to myself,"Could it be? Really?...Ru..Ru..Rudolph?" Then I come to my senses and smile at the little girl within me--the one I miss when times are hard or nearly unbearable at times--and I conclude that she never really left..that the little girl within me will always be and that is a gift in and of itself. Merry Christmas my friends :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MQ-emtC1w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip-Ql5FQlhc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPoSOjTxqW0

Favorite Songs of All Time:

O Holy Night

All I Want for Christmas is You

Christmas in Africa

The First Noel

Angels We Have Heard on High

Favorite Albums of All Time:

NOW That's What I Call Christmas Vol. I

Merry Christmas, Mariah Carey

Christmas Offerings, Third Day

Songs 4 Worship: Christmas Joy

Home for Christmas, NSYNC

White Christmas, Martina McBride

The Secret Life of Bees...

2008-11-03T11:23:00.004-06:00

Mobile, AL----At about 10 AM an incident occurred at the corner of Grelot and University. An innocent bystander was assaulted at the Chevron Car Wash by an unnamed subject. The victim described the perpetrator as about 1 inch in size, yellow and black striped with a HUGE stinger. Kristen Lyles, the victim, describes the scene in full: "I was enjoying my new CD and listening to Womanizer by Britney Spears as I pulled up to the car wash. Just as I was singing the chorus at the top of my lungs, I rolled down the driver's side window to enter the super secret car wash code. Then it happened. A ferocious bee with the malicious intention of inflicting pain, flew out of the change tray and into my coiffed hair. As I fought to spare myself from being stung in the eye the bee flew into my jacket. In the midst of the chaos, I had forgotten to put my car in park and The Corolla (The White Cloud, The Ship, Rolla) began to move forward and nearly crashed into the wall. Surprisingly, I managed to enter the code and put on the brakes. The green light came on and I moved forward, still fighting for my life--when suddenly the bee made it's way out of my jacket and onto my steering wheel. I grabbed my Coldplay CD, Viva La Vida, and smacked the bee--thrusting it out of my window and into a nearby bush. Then I quickly rolled my window up. The bee returned to finish what it started and flung itself at my window multiple times. It was a relentless bee and any and all pride it held, I as the victor--squashed it. I was pretty shaken up after the incident and next time I will definitely be more aware of my surroundings and any potential dangers that may threaten the livelihood of my pretty face." Miss Lyles is recovering nicely and did not suffer any injuries, however, she is being closely monitored for Post Traumatic Stress. The perp is still at large, so we ask that the public remain guarded and on the look out for Mr.Bee.

Beam Me Up Scotty! AHHHH!!!

2008-10-25T11:54:00.010-05:00

So yesterday was one of those bizarre-o days straight out of the "Twilight Zone" or should I say the "Final Frontier." I drove to Fairhope yesterday to get my hair cut and colored at the swanky

Nou Veau Par La Rive Salon and Day Spa. I walked in and to my delight they had MUZAK programmed on "The Best of the 80's." I sat down in a plush leather chair after being offered a beverage of my choice to which I said, "No thank you, I'm good." Just as I was drifting off into a world where George Michael, Prince, and Madonna were serenading me, there it was: my hairstylist. A 5 ft 11' gentleman named Arthur. I was startled...OK OK I'm being euphemistic. I was shocked and speechless! My body went numb and I stopped breathing ( I was holding my breath). So I was extremely uncomfortable... Not because my leather chair was beginning to mold to my legs---not because of Arthur's gender or his Clay Aiken-like accent and swagger. Nope. It was his appearance that caught me off guard to say the least. He was in full costume and let me just go ahead and say that he was the ONLY one dressed up. "What was he wearing?", you ask. Standing before me grinning from ear to ear was a grown man, a professional hairstylist and master colorist, dressed from head to toe like Dr. Spock from STAR TREK!!! OMG!!! I began to panic on the inside and I made a joke to myself since none of my friends were with me to witness this display. In my current state of "Fight or Flight" under my breath I said, "Beam me up Scotty!" Oh and by the way, he heard me. Oh dear. Anyway, he is a "Trek-y"----no seriously, I'm not kidding. He came to work already dressed for an early Halloween party he was to attend that night. The above photo should give you an idea of what I was faced with that immediately leveled and squashed any and all excitement and hopeful anticipation of a killer hair cut. NouVeau Day Spa not only shocked me but also left me in awe. Three things I would like to leave you with: 1) Dr. Spock(Arthur) has mad color skills and I am loving the color. 2) Dr. Spock is "scissor happy" and cut off alot of my hair--but it is the best cut I have ever had. In the words of Sheryl Crow: The First Cut is the deepest..." To that I say, "Baby, I know!" and 3) No one has things like this happen to them in real life. Only me.... Who else can say that Spock gave them an "out of this world" cut and color. But hey, I love a good story! Here's a little something to leave you with...

Space. The Final Frontier....

These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.

It's continuing mission

To explore strange new worlds...

To seek out new life...new civilizations...

To boldly go where no one has gone before!

Life is Good

2008-10-19T08:44:00.004-05:00

So I finally figured out how to jazz up my blog. I'm kind of found of it and I think it looks like me. Anyway, I'll be writing more later. Here's a little something to meditate on for now. These have been on the forefront of my heart and mind---I wanted to share. Much love!

"Come, all who are thirsty,
come to the waters: and you who have no money,
come,buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me and eat what is good
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
hear me that your soul may live...

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
Call on Him while He is near."
~Isaiah 55:1-3,6

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me." ~Psalm 51:10-12

"Let me hear joy and gladness,
let the bones you have crushed rejoice."
~Psalm 51:8

Who is Jesus?

2008-08-26T11:48:00.006-05:00

I wanted to share with you all a beautiful reminder of who Our Jesus is, through one of my favorite hymns. I hope this serves as an encouragement for all of you in every aspect of life; that we serve and are spoken for by The Lion and The Lamb, The Redeemer of Our Souls, The Counselor, The Comforter, The Healer, The Son of God, Imanuel, Yesuah, The Christ, Our very Salvation; Who, when facing Calvary, did not open His mouth in protest or waver in His promise to His Father: To redeem a Generation created for His Glory. He said a most deep, profound and infinite "Yes." Now, having been given the Grace of God through Jesus, we have been given the right to be called Sons and Daughters of The King and enjoy ALL of who He is for us, in us and through us everyday for the rest of our lives. Let us honor Him with thankful,grateful and humble hearts. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus: The Author and Perfector of Our Faith. Jesus came to set the captives free...and we are free indeed!

I love you My Jesus. Thank you for my life and for making me complete; knowing me fully and loving me completely. Before I was, You were--in You I remain blameless and pure.

Wonderful, merciful Savior
Precious Redeemer and Friend
Who would've thought that a Lamb could
Rescue the souls of men
Oh, You rescue the souls of men

Counselor, Comforter, Keeper
Spirit we long to embrace
You offer hope when our hearts have
Hopelessly lost our way
Oh, we've hopelessly lost the way

CHORUS
You are the One that we praise
You are the One we adore
You give the healing and grace
Our hearts always hunger for
Oh, our hearts always hunger for

Almighty, infinite Father
Faithfully loving Your own
Here in our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne
Oh, we're falling before Your throne

You are the One that we praise

You are the One we adore

You give the healing and grace

Our hearts always hunger for

Oh, Our hearts always hunger for

"What Up J.C.? I.D.K...I Need Thee?"

2008-08-10T01:46:00.010-05:00

For the past few days I feel as though I have been bombarded with one theme that keeps me company as I lay awake at night: I Need Thee. The hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour" is one of my all time favorites. I'm a little partial to the Jars of Clay Version:

"I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour;
teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee, O I need Thee,
Every hour I need Thee,
I need Thee every hour.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

I need Thee, I need Thee, I need Thee every hour..."

Here lately....I've been in mid-conversation with a few people and a single question was raised in my heart regarding their individual circumstances:"What do you want?" Then after they answered I said, "What is it that you desire?" Then finally, I said, "But what is it that you need?" Of course I was met with silence...

People today may know what they want and may even know what they "need" in order to get what they want. But do they truly know what they need? Do they know that the very desires of their hearts come from the very being who put them there and that they NEED HIM? No, I'm afraid they don't.
As to not commit a literary fallacy of making a huge "party-foul" in writing--by playing the "sweeping generalisation" card, let me be more specific :We live in the "Communication Age." I laugh at that notion because it seems that with every technological advancement in communication we are being moved into the desert of "non-communication." We are deceived. Case in point: The generation only 5-7 years younger than me is addicted to "texting." They have become experts in all things text, so much so, that they can text while their phones are in their pockets. I can call them on the phone and no answer. But if I can text them--- there is an immediate response. Does this generation only know how to "talk" via a keypad and LCD screen? Seriously, I hate texting. It has marred ,if not murdered the all important "relational quality" of relating--and has stolen the foundation of relationships from this current generation-- which is sharing our hearts with one another, building one another up in brotherly love, "supping" together...meeting together. They are delusional and deceived. Thus, inadvertently exchanging the truth of God for a lie. They are oblivious and UNAWARE. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that the thief comes in the middle of the night when we are asleep? And isn't this same thief the "roaring lion"--waiting to devour us in order to fulfill his agenda of "stealing, killing and destroying?" Yes it is. The "Thief," "The Roaring Lion," "The Accuser" and "The Deceiver" are one in the same. The Devil is his name. He accuses us day and night before the throne of God--Rev.12. He is RELENTLESS. We have to wake up from this slumber! Become aware of our need for True Fellowship with Believers and with The King of Kings. We need to become RELENTLESS in our pursuit of God as our TREASURE.

So to tie up the lines of communication within with my two thoughts: 1) We do not know what we need AND we do not know how to talk, ask, open our mouths or ENGAGE with one another on a heart level. And secondly, if we fail to do so with one another, how then can we expect to succeed in battle for a deeper relationship with The Lord? You can't send God a text or say, "What up J.C.?" If we could I wonder how He would respond..."I.D.K. my BFF John." Do you see what I mean? It is ridiculous to think that one could have a real conversation or encounter with Jesus via the "cellular." So why do we consider it to be OK to do so with each other? It's not. We are self-saboteurs--deceitful and deceived! The heart is deceitful above all things--it is beyond cure...We are blinded by the culture of today, led by the god of this age, who preaches the lie that says, "If you loved me you'd say it in a text." Are you kidding me? Be serious.

On another note: I was semi-watching a movie last night entitled, License to Wed. The plot has an engaged couple going through pre-marital counseling class. The climax occurs when the bride-to-be realizes that they do not have a foundation in communication, and she calls off their impending nuptials. On top of that, she realizes that she has failed to allow herself to "need" Him. She loved him and he loved her, but she didn't need him--and he loved her anyway.Why would anyone want to be with someone who didn't need them and why would anyone need to be with someone who didn't want them? I can't think of any human relationships like that. But I do recall one: Rebellious, sinful children, orphaned and defiled, separated from God. God longed for us from His heart--the place we were created. And even though we rebel everyday and some days he is last on the list of people to talk to, that is IF He even makes the list--still He loves us and wants us. Why? I don't know. The best I can come up with is found in His word in Isaiah 43: "Bring my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the earth...whom I formed and made...FOR MY GLORY. So to answer my own rhettorical question, "We were made for His GLORY." We are his "Trophy Wife." That is true--but only made possible because He first loved us. Christ is the gold that covers our flaws, our bruises and our sin. We are trophies of The Lord's because of Christ.

Essentially in all relationships there is a cyclical balance of the two: Need and Want. The "groom to be" wanted to be with someone who "needed" Him. They get together in the end, happily ever after, yada yada. The desires of the engaged couple were to "be known,understood, needed and wanted--all made complete in their love together." Let me paraphrase a verse out of the book of James: "How can two walk together, less they be AGREED?" News flash:GOD DOES NOT NEED US--HE WANTS US. And He wants more than anything for us to want Him. That would reconcile our hearts with Him and enable us to be "AGREED." He already knows that we'd be lost without Him--umm hello, that's why He sent us Jesus, but do we know this, recognize this and believe it everyday? Here's the truth: We are guilty of both when it comes to relating to the One who knows us better than any one in the world: God. All of us would fail pre-marital counseling as the collective Bride of Christ. Thank God it was not required.

My point is this: I need My Father, My God, My Jesus and My Holy Spirit. Not only do I need them, but I want them. For me to enjoy all that our relationship has to offer I have to communicate well--and God will do the same. He promises to never leave...He is with us always...If we love Him we will live as a freed people and lead righteous lives pleasing to Him. Actions speak louder that words: Once we cultivate this relationship it will spill over into every part of our lives. I think of the Apostle Paul's words, "If I love them more, will they love me less?" Of course He was speaking about a people who did not know the Lord--going to them and loving them, sharing the Gospel and his life--He could only do so by being driven by Christ's love which enabled Him to love in the first place. But because of Christ's love He was able to love despite flack and discouragement from people telling him to give up on having relationships with others. In doing so His love for Christ abounded! All of it is cyclical.

We are FREE to LOVE and ENGAGE. "It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set you FREE. Therefore, no longer allow yourself to be yoked in slavery." Galations 1:5 "Where the SPIRIT OF THE LORD is there is FREEDOM." 2 Corinthians 4.... We have been given the honor and privledge to enter into the "Holy of Holies"--the veil has been torn, from top to bottom, The Savior has come--IT IS FINISHED! Believe. Honor Jesus by fighting for your relationship with Him. No longer return to your former selves. Instead, live dangerously guirded with the truth that, "if the Son has set you FREE, you are FREE indeed!" Word and Amen to that!

In closing...See this with me: If we commune with God He communes with us. If we honor Jesus, the Holy Spirit is glad within us and honors us. If we "communicate" with God, He will "communicate" with us. Get the picture? But first we have to recognize our need. Our need is for Fellowship with Christ, Fellowship with believers and fellowship with His word. In order for our needs to be met, we must first talk to Him and ask for true, genuine, undefiled, blessed conversation. God's promises are made "Yes" in Christ. He will answer any and all calls. He is mighty to save...faithful when we remain faithless. Nothing can ever seperate us from His love--nothing can ever pluck us from His hand. My Jesus is not a "Screener." He is not a God of texting. He is an intimate God who is familiar with every facet of our being--he knows every hair on our heads! His thoughts towards us, far out number the grains of sand.Embrace these truths! Take advantage of Him and the Freedom we have been given by Him, the RIGHT to be called, "Sons of God." There are no "roll-over minutes" to fall back on. We are a vapor--He is FOREVER. Be diligent and fight for the most PRESCIOUS GIFT you have ever received, which is ALL OF HIM. Once we embrace this truth and believe it we will then have, "Spiritual Awakening,Spiritual Renewal and Spiritual Authority and Power." He will wake up His sleeping bride and breathe life into her. All because in Him and through Him He meets every need and grows us in Christ through His word and The Holy Spirit every second, every minute and every hour of our lives! View COMMUNICATION in its most genuine state: A BLESSING AND GIFT OF THE LORD in the form of HIM--not in part--but in WHOLE. He wants us to know Him deeper,wider, and higher! Seize every opportunity to grow in Him. Do not waste it! My charge to believers is this: stop having .5 second conversations with God--stop putting Him on hold, stop "missing" His calls and or "screening" them; and for the love talk to the body of Christ. All of this "grieves" Him. Choose to: Engage. Show up. Love, Love, Love!

My Jesus has Nextel and can't receive or reply to any and all texting...sorry for any inconvenience in this "modern" era.

Lord Jesus, I Need Thee....I Come to Thee.

Kristen

I Stand in Awe of You

2008-07-03T00:06:00.003-05:00

You are God in heaven
And here am I on earth,
So I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
And I'll stand in awe of You,
Yes I'll stand in awe of You,
And I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You,
So I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.

I love My Jesus.
I love My Lord.
I love My Life with all of it's serendipitous occurrences....
I am blessed and have been given immeasurably more than I deserve or ever thought possible. My God is good and He is faithful to His children--He never ceases to amaze me by all that is within Him.
I was walking on the bay the other day and I was captivated by The Lord's creation that surrounded me. Every hue, tone, color and shade stood together and shouted in unison the truth of God's Glory. I was humbled to be able to see Him in all that surrounded me in that moment. Then we watched the sun set. I don't think I have ever gotten to marvel and share in the experience of the setting sun before. Sitting on a bench, I was thankful to get to take part in one fleeting whisper of God's Glory and I was joyful to share my excitement and wonder of God's masterpiece with Him. Finally I could breathe. In that moment I was overwhelmed by God's love for me in His provision and timing; not withholding any good thing because he loved me. I could enjoy all that the moment held because Jesus first loved me. I took a breath and was thankful for the air I breathed...the smell of the bay...the wind that gently touched my face spoke softy to me in a whisper from the Lord: "Beloved, I take great delight in you. You are my daughter. I have ransomed your heart to me forever. You are lovely and are loved. I know you and I pursue you with relentless passion everyday. I will not waver in my promise. I can never forget you: You are engraved on the palms of my hands....I love you."
Over the past week God has done nothing but amaze me. Everything I ever wanted I have found in Him. I love Him and I am truly blessed. I am humbled by His love and will praise Him all of my days. There is nothing else...all pursuits all worthless and empty except that of Jesus, the One and Only...My Redeemer...My Savior. My King. Thank you Jesus for loving me and saying "Yes!" Thank you for my life and for the heart you have given me. Without you I am nothing. Thank you for knowing my fully and fully completing me. Soli Deo Gloria!

Kristen

God's Writing Style

2008-06-25T15:33:00.002-05:00

"A friend comes at a moment when you look at the other and say, "You too? I thought I was the only one!"--very rough translation from one of my favorite spiritual titans C.S. Lewis

The Aha! Effect. God is so wonderfully humorous in His soverign ways. The very times in my life I've been looking, seeking, asking and praying for things is generally not the specific time He answers. Not because He doesn't care, or is withholding any good thing from me--it's more or less about His perfect and infallable timing. He knows what is best and He knows every season of my life because, after all He is the author of my life. Thinking about my life as a book and God as the Author, I wonder what title He would give my book. Maybe Song of the Redeemed or something along the lines of that. Regardless, indeed He is writing my story and what a good read is has been and still continues to be. It's a page-turner, full of twists and turns, and every human emotion available. He hits on points of all interest. I can't help but want to skip ahead or flip to the end and read the last page. How will it end? What will I be? I know that I will be the woman He has created to be and that's good enough for me. I don't need to know everything right now-----but I really want to. My whole point to this stream of consciouness is to say that whenever i recognize the hand of God in my life, when it is so brilliantly orchestrated, I have the "Aha!" moment. It's a gentle reminder from God that He is always with me, taking care of me, meeting all of my needs and doing immeasurably more than I am capable of imagining or trying to fathom. But when this happens I say thank you My King. You are worthy of praise! I'm thankful and grateful for every intricute detail, even down to what I get to eat for dinner. My God is good. My story is amazing and I love Him more and more everyday. I can't wait to go back over the current chapter in my life and insert quotes and titles alongside My Jesus. To God alone be the glory!

Kristen

Father's Day

2008-06-15T19:10:00.001-05:00

So it's Father's Day and of course I am thinking about my father, but more so I am thinking about my Heavenly Father. I have a maker. I have a creator. I have been spoken for, sought after, fought for, longed for and redeemed by the Creator of the Universe: My Father, My God.
Yahweh--The Lord of Lords--The Great I Am--The Beginning and The End--My Dad. I am completley known and perfectly loved! I am a Child of God---A Daughter of the King! That is who I am! When He set dimensions for the earth with The Holy Spirit and made boundaries for water and foundations for the land---it was good. I picture God The Father, Jesus The Son and The Holy Spirit having a conversation as they admired their creation: "Well, we really do good work. But something is missing. What more can we create for our Glory? We will create man, all for love, all for our Glory. Whom shall we call "child"? And then they did it. They knew us and loved us before the creation of the world. Amazing! Before we were born God loved us and ransomed our hearts to Himself---all for His glory. You know someone asked me not too long ago what I thought God was most passionate about. I thought about it for a moment and said this: " Well, just looking at what He has done--the story we know---His story of Redemption, His work of salvation to redeem broken, sinful and hopeless people for His kingdom---my first answer would be, "God is most passionate about His children." But taking it further, why did He do what He did? I am reminded of Isaiah 43 where He demands "Bring my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the earth, whom I formed and made, whom I created for my Glory. Therein lies the answer. God is most passionate about His glory. He did what He did all for love, but ultimately for His glory. Everything is for His glory." As I sit here, I can't help but wonder how I can most glorify God. Even if I don't know specifically what it looks like, I will honor my Father with my tongue, heart, mind, body and life. All of me. So today I say to my Heavenly Father, the God of the Universe who remembered me when He created all things and decided to give me life despite everything He knew I'd do and everything He knew I wouldn't---Thank You for not leaving me orphaned. Thank you for loving me a rebellious child. Thank you for picking me up---for telling me everything is going to be ok---and for the moments I didn't believe You, You held me in your arms and comforted me. Thank You My God My King. I love you. You are better than life! Thank You for Jesus, for The Holy Spirit--the Great Counselor, The Body, Your Word and your promises that have been made "Yes" in Christ. I am humbled by your love for me and relentless pursuit of this daughter's heart. Thank You for giving me brothers and sisters. Thank you for your unfailing love. Thank you for the still quiet voice You allow me to recognize. Thank you for revealing your glory in all of creation. I am grateful to be part of your vast, immeasurable, limitless, infallable plan. You are My King. You are My Father. Thank you and Happy Father's Day Abba Father!

Thoughts On Glory

2008-06-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on Glory

I long to know how deep, how wide, how long and how high...

I long to know the depth, breadth, and width; the length, and the height of Our Sovereign Lord’s Glory.

But the mere thought is soberingly profound—yet the truth of His existence and its reality is awe-inspiring.
His glory is one that is without measure. It is without boundary or limits of time and space. It does not rest satisfied in mere human thought or remembrance. It gnaws, it eats, it tears, and it destroys our human nature. For the idea in itself is more than beautiful. But the truth of its existence wages war within us, knowing all the while that indeed it is true.
We fight the truth and belittle it to a mere thought, idea, or notion. We dismiss it as random thunder of groans roaring up within us. We try as we might to ignore its roaring oration, but cannot, for He set eternity in our hearts.

As babies cry out for food never knowing of its existence, never formally being introduced, so men cry out for His Glory.

We try to capture the hidden moments revealed every so often, in paintings, photographs, books, poems and song. But to no avail, we are unable to describe Him in His infinite glory and splendor. Men are limited by pen, by words, brushstrokes, eyes, and our hearts. How can one with limits ever endeavor or ascribe to capture One without any?

It is impossible and that is the tragedy of being human. So long as we remain here on earth we will never fully understand, but we can know that it is true. And from that truth and acception of it, comes joy.
Our thoughts are not His thoughts and neither are our ways His ways. No! They are higher, lofty, and greater than all. They hold weight and power.

We seek to find something we forgot and find nothing.
We are compelled to capture unobtainable beauty but are thwarted.
Something in us does not allow it. It is our flesh—our humanity.

Humans can only obtain what is given.
Humans can only find what is revealed.

We try to understand but are left confused. Humans can only understand what can never be explained by humans, through divine revelation from God.
We know what He allows or lets us know and the truth that God set eternity in our hearts only fuels this great perplexion. Why? Why that? He could have put, love, joy peace, kindness—but eternity?
God Himself set eternity in our hearts so we would know that indeed there is more than what is seen. So that we would recognize that the longing within us wasn’t by accident, but held purpose: the purpose of bringing His children back to Him;redeeming a generation of orphens, widows, and fatherless for His Kingdom. The purpose of glory for Him.

Eternity is not an emotion, thought, or idea. It is forever, and we believe.

So why eternity? Because it is not something we automatically accept at first. We bat it away like a mosquito. We run from it as if it were a rabid dog. But it is real, and clearly He wanted us to remember. To remember something we’ve never met. Why? So we would recognize it when we see it and believe. Eternity is Him.

Longing for more is not a moment or expressive thought or a painting or a photograph or for that matter a book or poem: Longing for more is longing for Him. The ache we feel buried so deep is not a burden but a birthright. Only those who are His will recognize it as Him. We were created with the longing because the creator created us, for His glory, of which we long for. He left His fingerprints on our hearts and can never forget us: we are engraved on the palms of His hands.

It is not by mistake that nothing on earth can satisfy, for nothing temporal can answer the question of eternal or stand up to forever or hold the weight of no-end. All pursuits are counterfeit except those of God. He is gracious to reveal Himself, but His insurmountable glory, of that, we must wait until the day of Christ Jesus. On that day we will most assuredly enjoy the spoils of the longing and be more than able to put a face to it, that of our savior: Jesus, the One and Only.